I spoke to D yesterday.. he talked about getting rich one day.. and I related that to greed since there is no end point for wealth.. the rich naturally desire to get richer. Often, people look for more riches when they've actually got plenty in their backyard already.
He replied that if God wanted to bless him, why not. "I can hope for God to make me rich and bless me with more assets right" True..in a way.. I didn't know how to disagree from a secular perspective. But it was good that I did QT that morn and tis was absolutely appropriate for this situation.
Contentment, Greed, and Hopes of getting rich..
2Timothy6
3If anyone teaches false doctrines and does not agree to the sound instruction of our Lord Jesus Christ and to godly teaching, 4he is conceited and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions 5and constant friction between men of corrupt mind, who have been robbed of the truth and who think that godliness is a means to financial gain.
6But godliness with contentment is great gain. 7For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. 8But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. 9People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. 10For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.
17Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Saturday, December 19, 2009
The long break
Seems like a pretty long time..
The roller coater ride was nothin close to exciting.
That's life isn't it.. sometimes you're up and then sometimes you're down.
I went to the pantry this afternoon and had a short conversation with the kopi uncle.
He said , it's always easier to make yourself happy compared to making other people happy.
I could not agree one bit for some strange yet obvious reasons...
If life was about making only ourself happy, it'd be too selfish and what challenge would there be in that.
Cheering or pleasing another seems to have bigger gains, even though the effort may well be 10 fold.
Well.. that's one new thing I learnt today about mankind..
I've just cleared part of my sty.. there's still more than half the room to clean up!
YIKES!
Anyhow.. it's been a fulfilling day and I've finally got all the gifts. =)
Time to zzzz now..
The roller coater ride was nothin close to exciting.
That's life isn't it.. sometimes you're up and then sometimes you're down.
I went to the pantry this afternoon and had a short conversation with the kopi uncle.
He said , it's always easier to make yourself happy compared to making other people happy.
I could not agree one bit for some strange yet obvious reasons...
If life was about making only ourself happy, it'd be too selfish and what challenge would there be in that.
Cheering or pleasing another seems to have bigger gains, even though the effort may well be 10 fold.
Well.. that's one new thing I learnt today about mankind..
I've just cleared part of my sty.. there's still more than half the room to clean up!
YIKES!
Anyhow.. it's been a fulfilling day and I've finally got all the gifts. =)
Time to zzzz now..
Monday, December 07, 2009
19 days to Christmas
Much gloom has come to pass and the warmth of the season's filling in..
I've just set up the 1st Christmas tree of my life!
Cleaned up the house a little..
Gonna get some Christmas gift shopping done this week..
And the preparation for the ministry's Christmas event, SG's Christmas evagelistic event as well as my very own home party..
Still wish I had a fireplace..
Anyhow, some resolutions to come up with soon..
It's been a not so fantastic 2009 , but 2010 will be a better year! =)
bz bz bz...
I've just set up the 1st Christmas tree of my life!
Cleaned up the house a little..
Gonna get some Christmas gift shopping done this week..
And the preparation for the ministry's Christmas event, SG's Christmas evagelistic event as well as my very own home party..
Still wish I had a fireplace..
Anyhow, some resolutions to come up with soon..
It's been a not so fantastic 2009 , but 2010 will be a better year! =)
bz bz bz...
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
joyful jonker journey
jonker joys ..
along narrow litted paths,
apreciating traditional simplicity
enjoyment amidst the wait..
onlookin as a bystander
yet having that sense of belonging
the journey..
uncomplicated; peaceful; insightful
doing e best
creating comfort
untired, completion, fulfillment.
Simple joys~
along narrow litted paths,
apreciating traditional simplicity
enjoyment amidst the wait..
onlookin as a bystander
yet having that sense of belonging
the journey..
uncomplicated; peaceful; insightful
doing e best
creating comfort
untired, completion, fulfillment.
Simple joys~
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
the books day 1&2
Consider it
Pure joy when faced with
Trials coz the testing of our
Faith leads to
Perseverance which must finish its work so that we may be
Mature & complete, lacking Nothing.
Pure joy when faced with
Trials coz the testing of our
Faith leads to
Perseverance which must finish its work so that we may be
Mature & complete, lacking Nothing.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
R called me from thailand..
a simple call to ask how I was.
he could tell from that instant that I wasn't feelin too good.
Asked what it was and told me something new..
That he doesn't believe in taking more than 2 days to feel that way..
Coz thereafter it's easy to fall deep into the =( trap
and sometimes allowing urself to remain that way can turn into something called
A HABIT
true..
then i thot of Pbf and realised that she's always saying she's unhappy.. she's almost used to being an unhappy person. Even at times when happiness knocks on her door she sees it as a temporary event.
HABIT indeed..
something new to learn everyday..
a simple call to ask how I was.
he could tell from that instant that I wasn't feelin too good.
Asked what it was and told me something new..
That he doesn't believe in taking more than 2 days to feel that way..
Coz thereafter it's easy to fall deep into the =( trap
and sometimes allowing urself to remain that way can turn into something called
A HABIT
true..
then i thot of Pbf and realised that she's always saying she's unhappy.. she's almost used to being an unhappy person. Even at times when happiness knocks on her door she sees it as a temporary event.
HABIT indeed..
something new to learn everyday..
my condition diagnosed part I
Im drained out..
I reviewed my condition - self diagnose - Suffering from a lack of "nutrition"
Feeling down after that long Monday and whilst driving and speaking to myself and the nocturnal friend I realised that I needed someone that could teach me, be my pillar of support, "add" to me..
Looking back, I used to attend svc feeling like there was always a new msg to take home and much to give during the time of worship.
recently, I realied that there was a huge void I didn't know how to fill.. I go on Sundays preoccupied with the "hundred and one things" to do during SF, the food that had to be planned for, the lessons to bring forth, the planning for next few weeks, delegation, organisation etc.. How was I to listen with that heavy heart and deafened ear.
then i realied, all this time I've been doing everything for everyone, trying to add to other people's lives, but there's been absolutely no one here adding to mine. I was working so much I became a Martha..
Mary simply sat at Jesus feet and she was favoured, He provided the nourishment for her.. the bread of life. that was all that was required.
Need to learn..
I reviewed my condition - self diagnose - Suffering from a lack of "nutrition"
Feeling down after that long Monday and whilst driving and speaking to myself and the nocturnal friend I realised that I needed someone that could teach me, be my pillar of support, "add" to me..
Looking back, I used to attend svc feeling like there was always a new msg to take home and much to give during the time of worship.
recently, I realied that there was a huge void I didn't know how to fill.. I go on Sundays preoccupied with the "hundred and one things" to do during SF, the food that had to be planned for, the lessons to bring forth, the planning for next few weeks, delegation, organisation etc.. How was I to listen with that heavy heart and deafened ear.
then i realied, all this time I've been doing everything for everyone, trying to add to other people's lives, but there's been absolutely no one here adding to mine. I was working so much I became a Martha..
Mary simply sat at Jesus feet and she was favoured, He provided the nourishment for her.. the bread of life. that was all that was required.
Need to learn..
Sunday, October 18, 2009
orange october...
been a very good weekend.. catching up on sleep and time at home and enjoying the new room and toilet I've done up for mum & dad.. =)
It's been rather quiet on this space coz there's always insufficient time to get everything done and this has become one of the last priorities..
Tomorrow I'd be leading a session on How can we have faith.. The flesh is weak indeed and it's a test leading such a topic.. gotta be filled with the Spirit..
End of year plans .. no plans now.. Was hoping to meet u.. but.. yeah I know plans are subjected to change and that means there's 1 less thing to look forward to..
How now brown cow?? Jetstar's having 1cent 1 way flights to Bangkok.. and the other airline has a 2 for price of 1 promotion.. maybe I'll head to Hk with pseudo bf..
may the month end on a chirpier note..
It's been rather quiet on this space coz there's always insufficient time to get everything done and this has become one of the last priorities..
Tomorrow I'd be leading a session on How can we have faith.. The flesh is weak indeed and it's a test leading such a topic.. gotta be filled with the Spirit..
End of year plans .. no plans now.. Was hoping to meet u.. but.. yeah I know plans are subjected to change and that means there's 1 less thing to look forward to..
How now brown cow?? Jetstar's having 1cent 1 way flights to Bangkok.. and the other airline has a 2 for price of 1 promotion.. maybe I'll head to Hk with pseudo bf..
may the month end on a chirpier note..
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
im not good at this..
deepak's guinea pig claimed that Im always taking the happy pill and I don't understand the pains that people go thru.. perhaps I am too logical.. try to be different from the rest and people just dont like it because I don't agree with them..
Hiaks.. this is just me .. I suck at being the pouty complaining girl next door.. and that's because it sucks complaining when that changes nothing.. Shift of paradigm is my solution.. life becomes so much more enjoyable.. think out of the misery box..
the world of madness sometimes sucks as it is.. what greater joy can be found adding to all of this trash..
Chose to tell myself that there's always something good in every bad.. and I think its a whole lot healthier this way..
Not gonna change myself But I hope the negativity doesn't pull me down..
Hiaks.. this is just me .. I suck at being the pouty complaining girl next door.. and that's because it sucks complaining when that changes nothing.. Shift of paradigm is my solution.. life becomes so much more enjoyable.. think out of the misery box..
the world of madness sometimes sucks as it is.. what greater joy can be found adding to all of this trash..
Chose to tell myself that there's always something good in every bad.. and I think its a whole lot healthier this way..
Not gonna change myself But I hope the negativity doesn't pull me down..
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
welcome October
it's been too long and I've absolutely neglected my web space.
so much has happened .. I've taken another 2 flights since the last entry and there's been a chain of new events, experiences happening consequetively.
In the last months.. I've seen bountiful harvests.. when i've sowed in another person's life. when others come first. Rewards have been sweet.
WT's big day's comin up.. and I'm overjoyed for him and his bride..
Mum's room reno has started and I can't to see how mum will react when it's done.
Work's taken flight once again.. and hope to soar great heights before the financial year ends.
The ministry's evolving into something different and exciting..
Every new week, there are work, family, church commitments and friends and yet everything seems manageable..
God's work in my life is amazing..
MHI june 07
Phil mar 08
Phil mar 09
prayer grp in the making
youth involved in planning of rosters
j leading s&l
evangelism on 2nd gear
leading sf
As the welcoming October approaches I hope to see the bbf take a brighter perspective on life.. I realise that I like challenges and this nut is quite a hard one to crack but perseverence is the key.
Love knows no bounds.. very true..
so much has happened .. I've taken another 2 flights since the last entry and there's been a chain of new events, experiences happening consequetively.
In the last months.. I've seen bountiful harvests.. when i've sowed in another person's life. when others come first. Rewards have been sweet.
WT's big day's comin up.. and I'm overjoyed for him and his bride..
Mum's room reno has started and I can't to see how mum will react when it's done.
Work's taken flight once again.. and hope to soar great heights before the financial year ends.
The ministry's evolving into something different and exciting..
Every new week, there are work, family, church commitments and friends and yet everything seems manageable..
God's work in my life is amazing..
MHI june 07
Phil mar 08
Phil mar 09
prayer grp in the making
youth involved in planning of rosters
j leading s&l
evangelism on 2nd gear
leading sf
As the welcoming October approaches I hope to see the bbf take a brighter perspective on life.. I realise that I like challenges and this nut is quite a hard one to crack but perseverence is the key.
Love knows no bounds.. very true..
Thursday, September 03, 2009
upcomin..
there are loads to do this month..
5-7th Youth conference Malaysia
13th interpretation & intro of last quart for s.f.
19th-21st MHI programme in Ipoh
27th Alpha?
promised boss that my work stuff will be done by 1st week of oct.. oopsie...
5-7th Youth conference Malaysia
13th interpretation & intro of last quart for s.f.
19th-21st MHI programme in Ipoh
27th Alpha?
promised boss that my work stuff will be done by 1st week of oct.. oopsie...
Monday, August 31, 2009
bbq weekend
finally i got back into the hang of things with the mates over a yummmy bbq time...
as usual, su was hilarious.. with her dirty jokes and she's really the life of the party!
its lovely being reminded over again that there's a buncha frens who can be so full of S*** , so crazy and who honestly do care lots about each other!
Had a fantastic weekend and its back to work in 7 hours..
romans was a good read earlier.. =)
as usual, su was hilarious.. with her dirty jokes and she's really the life of the party!
its lovely being reminded over again that there's a buncha frens who can be so full of S*** , so crazy and who honestly do care lots about each other!
Had a fantastic weekend and its back to work in 7 hours..
romans was a good read earlier.. =)
Friday, August 28, 2009
Refreshed!
It's been more than a month since the last entry and I've so much to write I doubt I'll be able to find time to include all e thoughts i've been wanting to add in at this point.
Had a rather long break away from home, work, friends to be in a world with just 2 friends. There were reservations in the beginning for fears of conflicts since it's always easy to be friends but travelling's different. You get to see the best and worst of each other. You wake up and go to zz with each other (ha) .. probably get to see all the habits of each other whether u like it or can tolerate it and then before the holiday ends.. you wish it'd ended sooner..
*those were my fears*
...that were never uncovered. In fact in turned out to be my best holiday of all time. Every bit of it, every day of it. Every hour n every part of London or Europe we travelled to.
I've learnt a lot in this trip.. yes a time of reflection whilst looking out of the window of the plane.. I was all alone in Thailand and memories of the hols kept coming on to my mind.. various parts of it.. your smile esp during the shoppin days and our many incidences incl the unfortunate but hilarious bird poo incident. I realised I also found a new friendship in the "sista" I always wished for but never had..
I did things I never knew I'd do - overcame the anal part of me sharing drinks or food.. shopping together.. having so little 'alone' time..
Sometimes you think you know yourself and then u behave so differently as if you were someone else.. and then u realise people do change afterall.. haha..
I'm glad I saw some changes in myself, much improvement.. managed to chill alot less but I was happy coz the choice was made- to see enjoyment in all that was done... Hols are indeed healthy.. and they Have to be with good company!
So much time spent with these 2 friends that I'm no longer used to being in large groups.. Think it takes time.. I miss every part of my holiday, every bit of the company of my holiday mates and this will definitely be a memory etched on my mind for a long long time..
Thank You for being the patient 'porter' and your smiles on the numerous occassions got me smiling inside out..
and Thanks sistA for comin with me.. ur happiness brought me priceless joys~ and i'm missin the conversations and singing too!
It's good to be back home knowing that this hardworking life in Singapore has allowed me to experience something like that.. it's always good to be home to see that family and friends welcome me back with open arms.
My life's quite complete!!! =)
Had a rather long break away from home, work, friends to be in a world with just 2 friends. There were reservations in the beginning for fears of conflicts since it's always easy to be friends but travelling's different. You get to see the best and worst of each other. You wake up and go to zz with each other (ha) .. probably get to see all the habits of each other whether u like it or can tolerate it and then before the holiday ends.. you wish it'd ended sooner..
*those were my fears*
...that were never uncovered. In fact in turned out to be my best holiday of all time. Every bit of it, every day of it. Every hour n every part of London or Europe we travelled to.
I've learnt a lot in this trip.. yes a time of reflection whilst looking out of the window of the plane.. I was all alone in Thailand and memories of the hols kept coming on to my mind.. various parts of it.. your smile esp during the shoppin days and our many incidences incl the unfortunate but hilarious bird poo incident. I realised I also found a new friendship in the "sista" I always wished for but never had..
I did things I never knew I'd do - overcame the anal part of me sharing drinks or food.. shopping together.. having so little 'alone' time..
Sometimes you think you know yourself and then u behave so differently as if you were someone else.. and then u realise people do change afterall.. haha..
I'm glad I saw some changes in myself, much improvement.. managed to chill alot less but I was happy coz the choice was made- to see enjoyment in all that was done... Hols are indeed healthy.. and they Have to be with good company!
So much time spent with these 2 friends that I'm no longer used to being in large groups.. Think it takes time.. I miss every part of my holiday, every bit of the company of my holiday mates and this will definitely be a memory etched on my mind for a long long time..
Thank You for being the patient 'porter' and your smiles on the numerous occassions got me smiling inside out..
and Thanks sistA for comin with me.. ur happiness brought me priceless joys~ and i'm missin the conversations and singing too!
It's good to be back home knowing that this hardworking life in Singapore has allowed me to experience something like that.. it's always good to be home to see that family and friends welcome me back with open arms.
My life's quite complete!!! =)
Friday, July 17, 2009
the journey ...
its the busiest month of the year..
experienced a wide spectrum of emotions the last 2 days..
spoke to her and i felt so much pain knowing that even swallowin water was painful.. I wish I could help in some way but all I could do was listen and say words of comfort and pray for her.. I hope she recovers.. I really hope so..
and as I drove home.. i made a call to L ..
I asked.. sleeping??
No.. I'm in the hospital..
.. are you ok?
Not quite , my mum's dying..
(shux.. i said to myself in my mind)
You mean like now, now??
Yes right at this moment...
I'd probably never forget this conversation..
I felt the pain in his teary voice and I felt so bad that I could do nothing..
tears welled up naturally knowing the situation he was in even when I had never known his mum.
The idea of life and death remains unexplainable.. yes its not for us to explain.. but the thought of it scares me, knowing that one day.. my parents would be taken away from me.. e thought just irks thru my insides and this is simply a fact of life that everyone has to go thru.. no matter the age.. 10, 30, 50... the thought of losing someone you love can break anyone down.
Well.. this is life isn't it.. and life's a journey that we should never take for granted and i'm constantly trying to bridge the gap that was created sometime ago with my beloved parents. For some years, I was aloof, could find no connection with them, knew they were impt but constantly took them for granted.. and I'm glad I've made that choice to embrak on my journey of change. It's not easy but it's necessary..
Life's too short to have any regrets..
no more if only I did this or that from now..
experienced a wide spectrum of emotions the last 2 days..
spoke to her and i felt so much pain knowing that even swallowin water was painful.. I wish I could help in some way but all I could do was listen and say words of comfort and pray for her.. I hope she recovers.. I really hope so..
and as I drove home.. i made a call to L ..
I asked.. sleeping??
No.. I'm in the hospital..
.. are you ok?
Not quite , my mum's dying..
(shux.. i said to myself in my mind)
You mean like now, now??
Yes right at this moment...
I'd probably never forget this conversation..
I felt the pain in his teary voice and I felt so bad that I could do nothing..
tears welled up naturally knowing the situation he was in even when I had never known his mum.
The idea of life and death remains unexplainable.. yes its not for us to explain.. but the thought of it scares me, knowing that one day.. my parents would be taken away from me.. e thought just irks thru my insides and this is simply a fact of life that everyone has to go thru.. no matter the age.. 10, 30, 50... the thought of losing someone you love can break anyone down.
Well.. this is life isn't it.. and life's a journey that we should never take for granted and i'm constantly trying to bridge the gap that was created sometime ago with my beloved parents. For some years, I was aloof, could find no connection with them, knew they were impt but constantly took them for granted.. and I'm glad I've made that choice to embrak on my journey of change. It's not easy but it's necessary..
Life's too short to have any regrets..
no more if only I did this or that from now..
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
The month of events
I've been so tied up the entire time since the month started..
Events have been comin up on a back to back.. and I almost keep forgetting that its my birth month!!
Mum asked.. When shall we have dinner girl?? and I was almost immediately gonna reply?? huh? whats the ocassion this month??? took me a whole minute to realise . its was MMMMEEEE!!!!! MYYYY BIRTHDAY!!!!!haha
Oh well... the week's passing so quickly and i've got
chunks to complete at work,
the europe transport to plan for
new clients to meet
AAM stuff to think thru
all in a week!
Events
bday dinner (family, friends, friends..)
Co awards dinner,
Church Skiiers paradise
Just got my new E71 today! superb.. $148 only!!!!
woohoo..
Hello Singtel, goodbye Lousy starhub!
Countine down.. 20 days more .. YIKES!!!!!
Events have been comin up on a back to back.. and I almost keep forgetting that its my birth month!!
Mum asked.. When shall we have dinner girl?? and I was almost immediately gonna reply?? huh? whats the ocassion this month??? took me a whole minute to realise . its was MMMMEEEE!!!!! MYYYY BIRTHDAY!!!!!haha
Oh well... the week's passing so quickly and i've got
chunks to complete at work,
the europe transport to plan for
new clients to meet
AAM stuff to think thru
all in a week!
Events
bday dinner (family, friends, friends..)
Co awards dinner,
Church Skiiers paradise
Just got my new E71 today! superb.. $148 only!!!!
woohoo..
Hello Singtel, goodbye Lousy starhub!
Countine down.. 20 days more .. YIKES!!!!!
perfect bids imperfect goodbye.
u sit and wonder if you're having the best or if you could get better..
and u ponder without ceasing , questioning every possible aspect...
and then that day comes when perfect finds you and you wonder how come u never found imperfect again.
So why wait.. just let perfect know that you've lost touch with imprefect and that perfect's the best one cld ever have..
and u ponder without ceasing , questioning every possible aspect...
and then that day comes when perfect finds you and you wonder how come u never found imperfect again.
So why wait.. just let perfect know that you've lost touch with imprefect and that perfect's the best one cld ever have..
rocker in the house...
Rocker in the house...
Dazzling eyes gentle glance
patience listens
feelings flows deep
appreciates gentleness
presence sweeps
delightful videos
insufficient still
lovely singggg
touches hearts
absence bittersweet...
Dazzling eyes gentle glance
patience listens
feelings flows deep
appreciates gentleness
presence sweeps
delightful videos
insufficient still
lovely singggg
touches hearts
absence bittersweet...
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
absolutely THE BEST!
Michael Joseph Jackson (August 29, 1958–June 25, 2009)
made his debut in 1968 as a member of The Jackson 5
solo career in 1971 while still a member of the group, a career that saw him dubbed the "King of Pop.
1982 album Thriller remains the best-selling album of all time
1st African American entertainer to amass a strong crossover following on MTV
Beyond his success on television, he popularized a number of physically complicated dance techniques -the robot and the moonwalk
Donated and raised millions of dollars for beneficial causes through his Heal the World Foundation, charity singles, and support of 39 charities
Inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame twice
Multiple Guinness World Records incl Most Successful Entertainer of All Time
13 Grammy Awards
13 number one singles in his solo career,
sales of over 750 million records worldwide
made his debut in 1968 as a member of The Jackson 5
solo career in 1971 while still a member of the group, a career that saw him dubbed the "King of Pop.
1982 album Thriller remains the best-selling album of all time
1st African American entertainer to amass a strong crossover following on MTV
Beyond his success on television, he popularized a number of physically complicated dance techniques -the robot and the moonwalk
Donated and raised millions of dollars for beneficial causes through his Heal the World Foundation, charity singles, and support of 39 charities
Inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame twice
Multiple Guinness World Records incl Most Successful Entertainer of All Time
13 Grammy Awards
13 number one singles in his solo career,
sales of over 750 million records worldwide
Sunday, July 05, 2009
Gone too soon
"Gone Too Soon"
Like A Comet
Blazing 'Cross The Evening Sky
Gone Too Soon
Like A Rainbow
Fading In The Twinkling Of An Eye
Gone Too Soon
Shiny And Sparkly
And Splendidly Bright
Here One Day
Gone One Night
Like The Loss Of Sunlight
On A Cloudy Afternoon
Gone Too Soon
Like A Castle
Built Upon A Sandy Beach
Gone Too Soon
Like A Perfect Flower
That Is Just Beyond Your Reach
Gone Too Soon
Born To Amuse, To Inspire, To Delight
Here One Day
Gone One Night
Like A Sunset
Dying With The Rising Of The Moon
Gone Too Soon
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0mcxmCGetI
Like A Comet
Blazing 'Cross The Evening Sky
Gone Too Soon
Like A Rainbow
Fading In The Twinkling Of An Eye
Gone Too Soon
Shiny And Sparkly
And Splendidly Bright
Here One Day
Gone One Night
Like The Loss Of Sunlight
On A Cloudy Afternoon
Gone Too Soon
Like A Castle
Built Upon A Sandy Beach
Gone Too Soon
Like A Perfect Flower
That Is Just Beyond Your Reach
Gone Too Soon
Born To Amuse, To Inspire, To Delight
Here One Day
Gone One Night
Like A Sunset
Dying With The Rising Of The Moon
Gone Too Soon
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0mcxmCGetI
Thursday, July 02, 2009
supper chat~
went for late night supper over a milo-peng w the GTI friend..
talked about work, hols, cars and went round and round when it came to the topic of LIFE. something so simple yet having millions of varieties.
Finding a greater purpose in life,
money maybe impt,
quality of life too,
but there's something amiss.
my supper 'shrink' assessed the situation and injected bits of his quick analysis to narrow down to a few solutions..
Solutions didnt quite work but...
As I talked.. understood myself better..
Ha.. the world wasn't created for me to be alone in it ..was it!
a listening ear's a good aid sometimes.. =) (a patient listener for that matter)
Thanks D~!
talked about work, hols, cars and went round and round when it came to the topic of LIFE. something so simple yet having millions of varieties.
Finding a greater purpose in life,
money maybe impt,
quality of life too,
but there's something amiss.
my supper 'shrink' assessed the situation and injected bits of his quick analysis to narrow down to a few solutions..
Solutions didnt quite work but...
As I talked.. understood myself better..
Ha.. the world wasn't created for me to be alone in it ..was it!
a listening ear's a good aid sometimes.. =) (a patient listener for that matter)
Thanks D~!
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
MICHAEL JACKSON
His name gives me a different feel when I know he's gone.
For years and years.. prob my entire lifetime.. I've grown up listening to his songs, over my mum's favourite radio station, in the car, at home..
It was his concert I first attended in 1993 .. while I was still in Primary School..
His songs were used in School sing-a-thons.. my class sang Heal the World.. His MTV's always delighted me with those moves..
For years he was out of the limelight after the Molestation case.. but no matter how the news and reporters speculated, I always believed he was innocent..
For someone that helped out in 30 over charities, touched millions of lives around the world.. it was good to speculate that he was everything Bad..
Anyhow.. I went online to read up about the news over the weekend and viewed many of His concert performances as well as when he was in the studio recording his songs..
His voice, His smile...
and His big and full and seemingly empty Heart..
No matter how wacko this jacko may have been..
He was my first idol and will always be the most special artist to me.
My tribute to MICHAEL JACKSON.
29th August 1958 - 25th June 2009.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZc6VZmbkJU
For years and years.. prob my entire lifetime.. I've grown up listening to his songs, over my mum's favourite radio station, in the car, at home..
It was his concert I first attended in 1993 .. while I was still in Primary School..
His songs were used in School sing-a-thons.. my class sang Heal the World.. His MTV's always delighted me with those moves..
For years he was out of the limelight after the Molestation case.. but no matter how the news and reporters speculated, I always believed he was innocent..
For someone that helped out in 30 over charities, touched millions of lives around the world.. it was good to speculate that he was everything Bad..
Anyhow.. I went online to read up about the news over the weekend and viewed many of His concert performances as well as when he was in the studio recording his songs..
His voice, His smile...
and His big and full and seemingly empty Heart..
No matter how wacko this jacko may have been..
He was my first idol and will always be the most special artist to me.
My tribute to MICHAEL JACKSON.
29th August 1958 - 25th June 2009.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZc6VZmbkJU
back from the camp..
it was awesome.. it's never crap when it's God's work ...
well.. the camp plans may've been last minute.. and we may've put in less effort and more last min injections..
but He's got a way of making it simply ay ok..
The kids shared about how they were touched and how this camp was different from last year and better.. I'm glad this has made a difference to their lives..
now that 1 big thing has passed I've got a month of July to get the act together again and clear up the work before I fly..
Haven't told boss yet.. yikes!!
Better do it soon!!
well.. the camp plans may've been last minute.. and we may've put in less effort and more last min injections..
but He's got a way of making it simply ay ok..
The kids shared about how they were touched and how this camp was different from last year and better.. I'm glad this has made a difference to their lives..
now that 1 big thing has passed I've got a month of July to get the act together again and clear up the work before I fly..
Haven't told boss yet.. yikes!!
Better do it soon!!
Friday, June 26, 2009
free time fer me.
When I was down in the pits I needed alot of company. Needed ppl to talk to, needed activity to kill thoughts in my head, needed to drink to drown the memories, needed the open sea to calm my attacks..
and then when I'm better, friends mistake me for using them and sometimes wonder why I stopped calling....
I wrote an email response to a v close friend and whilst I was at it, I understood myself better too..
Concluded that it's easy to just pick up the phone, call a friend out.
but those were temporary solutions.
deep inside I know I'm independant..and I knew I had to depend on myself to pounce outa the pit.
I respect people's situation and their time and I know that there would be more to gain if I spent time being alone, to sort out my thoughts, my feelings, my plans..
Being dependant on no one but myself... and its not easy sometimes but over time I have learnt..
I'm at a phase where I try to depend on myself, try to be happy
being home early. watching dvds and having solitary time ..
I was always used to hanging out, every day, every night. downing gallons on weekends with friends, tiring myself till Monday came again and the cycle continued..
but now .. Voila.. I've finally mastered the art and joy of being home early, watching a dvd, working on personal projects, writing, planning.. thinking.. reflecting..
life is good once more~
and then when I'm better, friends mistake me for using them and sometimes wonder why I stopped calling....
I wrote an email response to a v close friend and whilst I was at it, I understood myself better too..
Concluded that it's easy to just pick up the phone, call a friend out.
but those were temporary solutions.
deep inside I know I'm independant..and I knew I had to depend on myself to pounce outa the pit.
I respect people's situation and their time and I know that there would be more to gain if I spent time being alone, to sort out my thoughts, my feelings, my plans..
Being dependant on no one but myself... and its not easy sometimes but over time I have learnt..
I'm at a phase where I try to depend on myself, try to be happy
being home early. watching dvds and having solitary time ..
I was always used to hanging out, every day, every night. downing gallons on weekends with friends, tiring myself till Monday came again and the cycle continued..
but now .. Voila.. I've finally mastered the art and joy of being home early, watching a dvd, working on personal projects, writing, planning.. thinking.. reflecting..
life is good once more~
Thursday, June 25, 2009
bzbzbzbzbz....
Will be away this weekend for the Ministry camp..
Been busy trying to clear the work for the month and planning out stuff for camp too..
Had a talk with W about the direction of this part I'm serving in and I have absolutely no idea how to ignite that spark..
Anyhow the road doesn't end here.. and whilst everyone just wants to do their own thing and prefers enforcing their own opinion I guess it's good to contribute till His direction becomes more visible..
We will make mistakes anyway, so instead of finding out whats wrong with everyone, it'd be good to start makin ourself right first. That should be the priority and will in fact be the easiest.
I read the numerology thing.. strange how accurate it can be.. and just when I said I needed some time on my own.. that thing said the same!!! Spooks me out!!!
Been busy trying to clear the work for the month and planning out stuff for camp too..
Had a talk with W about the direction of this part I'm serving in and I have absolutely no idea how to ignite that spark..
Anyhow the road doesn't end here.. and whilst everyone just wants to do their own thing and prefers enforcing their own opinion I guess it's good to contribute till His direction becomes more visible..
We will make mistakes anyway, so instead of finding out whats wrong with everyone, it'd be good to start makin ourself right first. That should be the priority and will in fact be the easiest.
I read the numerology thing.. strange how accurate it can be.. and just when I said I needed some time on my own.. that thing said the same!!! Spooks me out!!!
Monday, June 22, 2009
solitary's out
I was just doing my usual thinking about life and realised that everyone needs someone..
no matter how independant or strong
young or old..
seems like everyone has that lonely side of them..
more so when they've placed lots of time and effort on someone previously v special..
Ppl say they are good alone..
Doubt it.. there's always someone around.. somewhere.. hidden or known.. or at least something to look forward to..
no matter how independant or strong
young or old..
seems like everyone has that lonely side of them..
more so when they've placed lots of time and effort on someone previously v special..
Ppl say they are good alone..
Doubt it.. there's always someone around.. somewhere.. hidden or known.. or at least something to look forward to..
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
problem and solution
had a meeting on monday..
Boss said,
if there's a problem, find a solution.
if you can't find a solution , it's not a problem. Time to throw it away.
A very cold way of handling matters but true in many aspects..
I touched base with the feely side again and those almost forgotten emotions came to live and proved to have its draining effects yet again.
Yes time to wake up the idea and throw it away once more.
For a long while I've looked upon myself as independant, too cold for my own good, practical, objective.. but this saga certainly proved to be an entire mistake of identity of myself..
I'm not so much of 'the man' .. very much a girl after all..
ha..
Boss said,
if there's a problem, find a solution.
if you can't find a solution , it's not a problem. Time to throw it away.
A very cold way of handling matters but true in many aspects..
I touched base with the feely side again and those almost forgotten emotions came to live and proved to have its draining effects yet again.
Yes time to wake up the idea and throw it away once more.
For a long while I've looked upon myself as independant, too cold for my own good, practical, objective.. but this saga certainly proved to be an entire mistake of identity of myself..
I'm not so much of 'the man' .. very much a girl after all..
ha..
Saturday, June 13, 2009
the gift...
recollections of the day that gift was given away..
carefully wrapped in a box within a box,
decietfully camouflaged as somethin else.
that was when i hunted down the * for an idiot.
from the shops to the net to friends and colleagues..
alas..
with so much pride in my gift giving..
I knew that day would come and I still gave it my all..
in full acceptance that there'd be calls to someone else..
I shared??
had no qualms because there can be no selfishness in givin..
and independance day came..
do selfish fools exist?
not if the fool was me..
carefully wrapped in a box within a box,
decietfully camouflaged as somethin else.
that was when i hunted down the * for an idiot.
from the shops to the net to friends and colleagues..
alas..
with so much pride in my gift giving..
I knew that day would come and I still gave it my all..
in full acceptance that there'd be calls to someone else..
I shared??
had no qualms because there can be no selfishness in givin..
and independance day came..
do selfish fools exist?
not if the fool was me..
Sunday, June 07, 2009
at church today..
I skipped the morning service bcoz I'm on a 'be early campaign' and since I was late the punishment was to wait for the next service to start..
Im glad I made it for the full service..
Rev Alvin Chan spoke about the good and bad in our lives and how there's always gonna be bad weeds around us whether we like it.. people who are rebellious or even those who influence us in negative ways..
but in the parable from Matthew 13:29-30 when the servant wanted to remove the tares(bad weeds) among the wheat and go after the enemy who planted the weeds, Jesus said
"No,because while you are pulling the weeds, you may root up the wheat with them. Let both grow together until the harvest. At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn.' "
A good lesson to learn .. few lessons to take with this parable.. but to pick out something that related to me .. i was reminded that often I've been too quick to judge, to look down upon those who seem inferior and detach myself from them fearing that they are like weeds to my life.. But we are only human.. and who are we to judge when we sin like everyone else..
Im glad I made it for the full service..
Rev Alvin Chan spoke about the good and bad in our lives and how there's always gonna be bad weeds around us whether we like it.. people who are rebellious or even those who influence us in negative ways..
but in the parable from Matthew 13:29-30 when the servant wanted to remove the tares(bad weeds) among the wheat and go after the enemy who planted the weeds, Jesus said
"No,because while you are pulling the weeds, you may root up the wheat with them. Let both grow together until the harvest. At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn.' "
A good lesson to learn .. few lessons to take with this parable.. but to pick out something that related to me .. i was reminded that often I've been too quick to judge, to look down upon those who seem inferior and detach myself from them fearing that they are like weeds to my life.. But we are only human.. and who are we to judge when we sin like everyone else..
Friday, May 29, 2009
a warm cuppa coffee
a warm cuppa coffee's all i need..
to accompany this pile of work on my desk..
but there's no coffee here like the daily ones i had in JIPUN
so i'll just put up a pic and let my senses do e aroma imaginin.. ha!
anonymous..
whoever anon is..
A**H***
....
all those in the inner circle wld know..
haha.. so are u in the inner circle??
Anyhow..
YIPPEE!!!
its a fri once again.. was just browsin thru my calender and wondering when my next break can be.. I never usu have such long stretches of intense work..without a flight somewhere..
was itching to take a plane somewhere in July or maybe i'd go fishing in Mersing again one of this comin month's weekend..
Cambodia, Myanmmar, Hongkong or all of this and no UK..
argghh.. need to focus..
A**H***
....
all those in the inner circle wld know..
haha.. so are u in the inner circle??
Anyhow..
YIPPEE!!!
its a fri once again.. was just browsin thru my calender and wondering when my next break can be.. I never usu have such long stretches of intense work..without a flight somewhere..
was itching to take a plane somewhere in July or maybe i'd go fishing in Mersing again one of this comin month's weekend..
Cambodia, Myanmmar, Hongkong or all of this and no UK..
argghh.. need to focus..
THE RUN
Running's enjoyable.
The mind typically multi tasks very well
and yet.. whilst running, its also able to empty out very well.
I was tired and attempted to think of things to distract myself of the fatigue.
Allowed bits of the AH history to come in BUT i strangely couldn't focus on the thought.
haha.. (yes im a bit warped)
Guess its really proven that endorphins are produced during exercise and this works very well when one is unhappy.
Anyhow, point noted.. my brainy brain confrimed that i've fully recovered from the Long term AHlic disease to be me, myself once again!
Im happy..
and I lurrrve running!!!
THanks Puss for the company~
The mind typically multi tasks very well
and yet.. whilst running, its also able to empty out very well.
I was tired and attempted to think of things to distract myself of the fatigue.
Allowed bits of the AH history to come in BUT i strangely couldn't focus on the thought.
haha.. (yes im a bit warped)
Guess its really proven that endorphins are produced during exercise and this works very well when one is unhappy.
Anyhow, point noted.. my brainy brain confrimed that i've fully recovered from the Long term AHlic disease to be me, myself once again!
Im happy..
and I lurrrve running!!!
THanks Puss for the company~
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
project mum
just a while ago..
life was simple..
wake up before sunset for bfast mum's prepared,
get driven to school by pampering parents
get picked up from school by loving mum,
who also drives me to tuition
and efficiently appears again 2 hours later to drive me home.
I arrive home and dinner would magically be prepared..
I do some homework, watch some tv whilst having the sumptous dinner.
(Dinner menu always differs from my lunch in the car...)
and then mum nags and makes sure my homework's completed before I go to bed.
The next day starts at 630 and the daily cycle continues..
Only when I look back, am I reminded that I've got a super mum.
And realise that nagging is ok.. perfection's impossible especially when I've got the best mum I could ever have.. I should allow her to nag ever so often..
I think I should put in some effort to treat her like Queen more often.. haven't been the best daughter around..
Mum gave me a worry-free, chores free time when I was growing up.. I think I should contribute a little more to put on more smiles on her coz she's my super mum.
PROJECT MUM commences..
life was simple..
wake up before sunset for bfast mum's prepared,
get driven to school by pampering parents
get picked up from school by loving mum,
who also drives me to tuition
and efficiently appears again 2 hours later to drive me home.
I arrive home and dinner would magically be prepared..
I do some homework, watch some tv whilst having the sumptous dinner.
(Dinner menu always differs from my lunch in the car...)
and then mum nags and makes sure my homework's completed before I go to bed.
The next day starts at 630 and the daily cycle continues..
Only when I look back, am I reminded that I've got a super mum.
And realise that nagging is ok.. perfection's impossible especially when I've got the best mum I could ever have.. I should allow her to nag ever so often..
I think I should put in some effort to treat her like Queen more often.. haven't been the best daughter around..
Mum gave me a worry-free, chores free time when I was growing up.. I think I should contribute a little more to put on more smiles on her coz she's my super mum.
PROJECT MUM commences..
bz monday!
Been awhile since Monday's have been so busy..
4 meetings multiple phone calls and emails and documentation..
good to be busy every now and then..
but how did i find the energy to blade another 10+ km till almost midnite..
Ha.. the power of the human mind..
Anyhow.. I was reminded on Sunday about what I've been doing .. a wake up call in some areas of my life.. guess.. it isnt too bad.. wake up calls are good.
4 meetings multiple phone calls and emails and documentation..
good to be busy every now and then..
but how did i find the energy to blade another 10+ km till almost midnite..
Ha.. the power of the human mind..
Anyhow.. I was reminded on Sunday about what I've been doing .. a wake up call in some areas of my life.. guess.. it isnt too bad.. wake up calls are good.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
a walk on the streets~
what would i do if i saw u on the street.
how would i react
would i turn and walk away,
or would i walk nonchalently and just ignore
would i stop to talk
and pretend everything's ok
or would i prevent conversation
and said I was busy
we built relations only to let them go.
because it makes us angry, hurt and just very sad.
thats life isnt it.
how would i react
would i turn and walk away,
or would i walk nonchalently and just ignore
would i stop to talk
and pretend everything's ok
or would i prevent conversation
and said I was busy
we built relations only to let them go.
because it makes us angry, hurt and just very sad.
thats life isnt it.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
im thankful..
my followers.. did i miss out anyone?..
I recall telling only selected people about my blog..
lets see, lets go by initials..
s, d, g, s, g, j, k, a, e, j, w, g and maybe one more.. g & y found out by accident..
thats all of 14 people..
unless i forgot anyone else..
well.. i realised that i've been maintaining this for the last 4 years ( or is it 5?).. started when i was down , maintained thru the good times, and continued more during sad times.. and now I'm up again..
I'm very thankful for those who have seen me thru my worst .. and its thru some absolutely lovely friendships that i've managed to ride thru the stormiest days.. people who have touched me with their warmth and concern, talked or messaged me every single day during my worst days. supported me thru thick and thin..
ha.. sometimes i take it for granted.. yesterday i talked about how friendship's really simple and
today after the dinner and drinks with one of the best gangs i've ever had.. i realise that 'simple' is an easy way to describe something that means alot, makes u really happy, builts u up, gives u great companionship and leaves u realising that no one's gonna back stab u and look at u any differently..
its simple, u just have to be yourself, everyone else as natural as they always are and u know u've got a great bunch of people called friends.. there's nothin else to describe the chemistry in this group.
i dont know why.. the dinner wasnt for me.. it was for ma and PUSS (sorry gx, made a mistake) but.. im just really happy i've got all of u i call friends.. they aint heavy.. they mi flens! =)
I recall telling only selected people about my blog..
lets see, lets go by initials..
s, d, g, s, g, j, k, a, e, j, w, g and maybe one more.. g & y found out by accident..
thats all of 14 people..
unless i forgot anyone else..
well.. i realised that i've been maintaining this for the last 4 years ( or is it 5?).. started when i was down , maintained thru the good times, and continued more during sad times.. and now I'm up again..
I'm very thankful for those who have seen me thru my worst .. and its thru some absolutely lovely friendships that i've managed to ride thru the stormiest days.. people who have touched me with their warmth and concern, talked or messaged me every single day during my worst days. supported me thru thick and thin..
ha.. sometimes i take it for granted.. yesterday i talked about how friendship's really simple and
today after the dinner and drinks with one of the best gangs i've ever had.. i realise that 'simple' is an easy way to describe something that means alot, makes u really happy, builts u up, gives u great companionship and leaves u realising that no one's gonna back stab u and look at u any differently..
its simple, u just have to be yourself, everyone else as natural as they always are and u know u've got a great bunch of people called friends.. there's nothin else to describe the chemistry in this group.
i dont know why.. the dinner wasnt for me.. it was for ma and PUSS (sorry gx, made a mistake) but.. im just really happy i've got all of u i call friends.. they aint heavy.. they mi flens! =)
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Friendship
Friendship
A simple word yet this relationship often curtails a wide array of perspectives, feelings, depth. Often, I prefer looking at it simply. It’s something that goes a long way when its well cultivated, it’s a relationship that lasts sometimes even longer than marriages. I like to know that people understand me. I usually attempt to understand people through behavior, tune myself to a comfortable level and read them so that I’m able to tailor my actions to suit their preferences. Often..
Yet there are times when we get to a level deeper and fall into the comfort zone that can be occasionally dangerous. We say things we shouldn’t and assume what we know or ignorantly speak our minds without being concerned about the feelings of the friend. We end up hurting. Often unknowingly.
But why can it be so complicated. When it seems so simple..
Often, my temper is kept in check. I read expressions, behavior and when temperature rises I tend to take a step back to ease the tension. Rarely would I get offended, or enter into a state of anger. Today, I allowed my emotions to get the better of me. If I could get angry easily I’d deem a large part of it a fault of mine.
Today, I tuned myself to ignore expressions that irritated me, I repeatedly told myself to calm down and ‘de-sensitize’. I made it clear not just once that there wouldn’t be a problem if the trip could not go on. I found a need to repeat that because on various occasions I was being told that I was forceful and did not allow people to have a choice and ‘it’s always about what I wanted’. Even with these clarifications today it was no use. People still look upon me as selfish, ungrateful and think I make use of them..
…
Am I all of that?
……
Females tend to make it complicated thinking that their feelings matter more. Perhaps this ‘weaker’ sex tend to get a little mixed up with feelings vs objectivity and screw their minds up a little too much for their own good. Well.. just a little bad to come with the good coz females are the more ‘feely’ of the 2.
I’ve only got into arguments with 2 or 3 gfs . Often we shrug it off and give way but sometimes when expectations rise up too much for me to handle. I blast. Yes like today.
….
I think friendship is simple but simple as it is and feely as it is, I do think I hold objectivity in high perspectives.
Today I may’ve lost a friend..
.. but I believe I’ve given my best.
Friendship’s supposed to built people up not tear them apart.
A simple word yet this relationship often curtails a wide array of perspectives, feelings, depth. Often, I prefer looking at it simply. It’s something that goes a long way when its well cultivated, it’s a relationship that lasts sometimes even longer than marriages. I like to know that people understand me. I usually attempt to understand people through behavior, tune myself to a comfortable level and read them so that I’m able to tailor my actions to suit their preferences. Often..
Yet there are times when we get to a level deeper and fall into the comfort zone that can be occasionally dangerous. We say things we shouldn’t and assume what we know or ignorantly speak our minds without being concerned about the feelings of the friend. We end up hurting. Often unknowingly.
But why can it be so complicated. When it seems so simple..
Often, my temper is kept in check. I read expressions, behavior and when temperature rises I tend to take a step back to ease the tension. Rarely would I get offended, or enter into a state of anger. Today, I allowed my emotions to get the better of me. If I could get angry easily I’d deem a large part of it a fault of mine.
Today, I tuned myself to ignore expressions that irritated me, I repeatedly told myself to calm down and ‘de-sensitize’. I made it clear not just once that there wouldn’t be a problem if the trip could not go on. I found a need to repeat that because on various occasions I was being told that I was forceful and did not allow people to have a choice and ‘it’s always about what I wanted’. Even with these clarifications today it was no use. People still look upon me as selfish, ungrateful and think I make use of them..
…
Am I all of that?
……
Females tend to make it complicated thinking that their feelings matter more. Perhaps this ‘weaker’ sex tend to get a little mixed up with feelings vs objectivity and screw their minds up a little too much for their own good. Well.. just a little bad to come with the good coz females are the more ‘feely’ of the 2.
I’ve only got into arguments with 2 or 3 gfs . Often we shrug it off and give way but sometimes when expectations rise up too much for me to handle. I blast. Yes like today.
….
I think friendship is simple but simple as it is and feely as it is, I do think I hold objectivity in high perspectives.
Today I may’ve lost a friend..
.. but I believe I’ve given my best.
Friendship’s supposed to built people up not tear them apart.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
whooppee wednesday!
Took time off for another run this week..
The beach effect's great.. just as I walked past the buildings to get the sea view.. there was a big expanse of space right before me and my spirits were lifted in an instant.
I've usually had my evening runs around my estate but this time round... it was different..
enjoyed the cool sea breeze, happily 'people watching', I spotted
ah peks sitting around chatting, couples taking evening walks hand in hand, students bbq-ing, mums bringing their toddlers out to build sandcastles, parents pushing their babies in prams while they brisk walked..
oohh.. wat a sight..
Perhaps I'll start doing this every wed. and yeah it beats our nite blading where there's absolutely no one!
The beach effect's great.. just as I walked past the buildings to get the sea view.. there was a big expanse of space right before me and my spirits were lifted in an instant.
I've usually had my evening runs around my estate but this time round... it was different..
enjoyed the cool sea breeze, happily 'people watching', I spotted
ah peks sitting around chatting, couples taking evening walks hand in hand, students bbq-ing, mums bringing their toddlers out to build sandcastles, parents pushing their babies in prams while they brisk walked..
oohh.. wat a sight..
Perhaps I'll start doing this every wed. and yeah it beats our nite blading where there's absolutely no one!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
bouncin outa the bounce ring..
For 2 months i was bouncing up and down in that space..
and for a new month i learnt lots ..
and then.. i bought a dvd player from mustafa 2 Sun nights ago.. (it only costs $59!!).. and wohoo.. been watching the best movies over the weekend,
-Bucket list
-Taken
-Slumdog
next up would be
the Godfather
Schindlers List
Valkyrie
.. and the list goes on..
the exercise has been doing me some good.. at least once a week running and blading and movie.
I'm happy that work's taken a leap ..
been out with the gang lately,
SuMaNa & me..
and the boys.. Puss,Gx,HS & recently LipB
A good mix.. all the good looking boys and girls.. (heh)
and for once , last Fri @ Lunar, I saw the perverseness as the boys looked up on the stage- those bartop dancers.. haha.. decent boys suddenly looking like hungry perverts.. that was quite a sight.. and amusing..
It's almost mid May..
Should start sorting out and confirming my flights in Aug..
always look on the bright side of life Padum pada pada padum..
and for a new month i learnt lots ..
and then.. i bought a dvd player from mustafa 2 Sun nights ago.. (it only costs $59!!).. and wohoo.. been watching the best movies over the weekend,
-Bucket list
-Taken
-Slumdog
next up would be
the Godfather
Schindlers List
Valkyrie
.. and the list goes on..
the exercise has been doing me some good.. at least once a week running and blading and movie.
I'm happy that work's taken a leap ..
been out with the gang lately,
SuMaNa & me..
and the boys.. Puss,Gx,HS & recently LipB
A good mix.. all the good looking boys and girls.. (heh)
and for once , last Fri @ Lunar, I saw the perverseness as the boys looked up on the stage- those bartop dancers.. haha.. decent boys suddenly looking like hungry perverts.. that was quite a sight.. and amusing..
It's almost mid May..
Should start sorting out and confirming my flights in Aug..
always look on the bright side of life Padum pada pada padum..
Monday, April 27, 2009
The Bucket List
Realised how important time was..
more so after this excellent movie.
Life can change when you've decided to make it change.
and the 2 strangers did the most in the last 3 months of their lives than their entire lifetime..
That's something to think about..
Not to wait till the last days but to will and make the best of the days we've got.
I know that already..
allowing time to heal or healing thru time.
choice is clear. still..action speaks otherwise..
wake up wake up!!
more so after this excellent movie.
Life can change when you've decided to make it change.
and the 2 strangers did the most in the last 3 months of their lives than their entire lifetime..
That's something to think about..
Not to wait till the last days but to will and make the best of the days we've got.
I know that already..
allowing time to heal or healing thru time.
choice is clear. still..action speaks otherwise..
wake up wake up!!
Sunday, April 26, 2009
empty home.. or not..
comin back to an empty hm didnt feel gd.
thank God those clowns n mar came down to sup.
For awhile it felt so much better being able to laugh....( at their stupidity..ha..)
and mar and I talked about having kids at the same time.. labouring together, spend maternity together,... erm.. thats a fun n absoulutely delightful thought.. but am i dreaming or wat.. i'm 2 stages behind her..
Anyhow..
Came back to everyone home.
Thought of going online but then its been awhile since I've spoken to mum or hung around the living room with family..
Asked my mum if she needed to go anywhere tomorrow since bro said he'd be taking his car to JB.
Mum answered in that frustrated way, " where's there to go if there's no car"
sigh.. why did she have to talk to me in that way when I actually wanted to pass her my car..
Empty home = sian.
Family home = ....
is there a difference..
I could've put in more effort to be patient, she might have had a rough day with dad n bro but.. I hadn't been in the best of moods too..
=(
im really in one of those moods..
thank God those clowns n mar came down to sup.
For awhile it felt so much better being able to laugh....( at their stupidity..ha..)
and mar and I talked about having kids at the same time.. labouring together, spend maternity together,... erm.. thats a fun n absoulutely delightful thought.. but am i dreaming or wat.. i'm 2 stages behind her..
Anyhow..
Came back to everyone home.
Thought of going online but then its been awhile since I've spoken to mum or hung around the living room with family..
Asked my mum if she needed to go anywhere tomorrow since bro said he'd be taking his car to JB.
Mum answered in that frustrated way, " where's there to go if there's no car"
sigh.. why did she have to talk to me in that way when I actually wanted to pass her my car..
Empty home = sian.
Family home = ....
is there a difference..
I could've put in more effort to be patient, she might have had a rough day with dad n bro but.. I hadn't been in the best of moods too..
=(
im really in one of those moods..
whats e prescribtion?
yet to understand these thoughts that fill my mind,
they are scattered,
a little warped sometimes,
can't find the source of negativity
nor the solution.
At times, the virus seems dormant or almost absent,
and other times it re-activates agn.
It's been weeks,
still counting...
Kinda desperate at times
to find the cure, the medication.
coz I'm certainly not one who likes to put things on hold.
I try to allow pretense to bring me back to good times.
Since they say when u engage in positivism it brings you there,
but.. for once in my life.. it don't seem to work that way.
Self pity or genuinely helpless?
they are scattered,
a little warped sometimes,
can't find the source of negativity
nor the solution.
At times, the virus seems dormant or almost absent,
and other times it re-activates agn.
It's been weeks,
still counting...
Kinda desperate at times
to find the cure, the medication.
coz I'm certainly not one who likes to put things on hold.
I try to allow pretense to bring me back to good times.
Since they say when u engage in positivism it brings you there,
but.. for once in my life.. it don't seem to work that way.
Self pity or genuinely helpless?
Friday, April 24, 2009
winds~
strangely..
I was driving @ approx 11pm last night and the winds.. scary winds .. the roads were filled with litter, pedestrians looked around wondering where these winds came from. Even whilst driving, howlings could be heard, branches came tumbling on my whitie. Near home, a bus had to stop because a tree branch was lightning stricken and lay well across a road. Litter was everywhere..
Tonight... yet again.. I was in the east and there the skies quickly litted up as clouds were blown to create an overcast sky. City building lights reflected on those heavy rain clouds and it seemed almost bright as early morning. I sped home and winds blew in all directions.. litter all around the estate once again.. and I almost ran home.. (like a kid)
strangely, half an hour later.. did this area turn into the eye of the storm? absolutely wind-less and rain-less..
Hope no other cranes tumble tonight..
Also..I've awakened tonight.. I know what I need to do now.. Total Defence.
I was driving @ approx 11pm last night and the winds.. scary winds .. the roads were filled with litter, pedestrians looked around wondering where these winds came from. Even whilst driving, howlings could be heard, branches came tumbling on my whitie. Near home, a bus had to stop because a tree branch was lightning stricken and lay well across a road. Litter was everywhere..
Tonight... yet again.. I was in the east and there the skies quickly litted up as clouds were blown to create an overcast sky. City building lights reflected on those heavy rain clouds and it seemed almost bright as early morning. I sped home and winds blew in all directions.. litter all around the estate once again.. and I almost ran home.. (like a kid)
strangely, half an hour later.. did this area turn into the eye of the storm? absolutely wind-less and rain-less..
Hope no other cranes tumble tonight..
Also..I've awakened tonight.. I know what I need to do now.. Total Defence.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Time
I was reading this chapter on stewardship and it talked about how we use our time.
The more scarce something is, the more valuable it is. Gold would not be precious if we could pick them up by the side of the road.. and in a similiar way, time would not be so precious if we never died..
What a way to look at things but there is truth in it..
It occured to me that I've been a bad stewart of my time. Agonising through situations I cannot change or dwelling in history to a certain extend (like what Ndrw said) I guess often I do that not because I like to, but because I'm unhappy about the way certain things turned out and I .. am guilty of thinking too much..
It also said that not only is time short, but what remains is fleeting. When I stop and realise that 293 months of my life has gone by and I'm only left with perhaps 300 months if I die at 50yrs old.. is a truly morbid thought.. but in reality thats not a long time.. month after month goes by with a flip of the calender..
So guess as much as I'm reminded, I should embrace the discipline to make not simply full use but good use of my time and thoughts that pass with it.
Like the 2 men who were chopping the tree, the one that had more rest managed to chop the tree in a shorter time.. because he stopped to rest and stopped to sharpen his axe..
Relearning..
For the Purpose of Godliness - Donald S whitney
The more scarce something is, the more valuable it is. Gold would not be precious if we could pick them up by the side of the road.. and in a similiar way, time would not be so precious if we never died..
What a way to look at things but there is truth in it..
It occured to me that I've been a bad stewart of my time. Agonising through situations I cannot change or dwelling in history to a certain extend (like what Ndrw said) I guess often I do that not because I like to, but because I'm unhappy about the way certain things turned out and I .. am guilty of thinking too much..
It also said that not only is time short, but what remains is fleeting. When I stop and realise that 293 months of my life has gone by and I'm only left with perhaps 300 months if I die at 50yrs old.. is a truly morbid thought.. but in reality thats not a long time.. month after month goes by with a flip of the calender..
So guess as much as I'm reminded, I should embrace the discipline to make not simply full use but good use of my time and thoughts that pass with it.
Like the 2 men who were chopping the tree, the one that had more rest managed to chop the tree in a shorter time.. because he stopped to rest and stopped to sharpen his axe..
Relearning..
For the Purpose of Godliness - Donald S whitney
Friday, April 17, 2009
Thought the storm clouds cleared and then it reappeared.
Storm reduced clarity along the road.
Driving conditions were tough..
Almost as though I was blind to the next bend ahead.
And suddenly when the storm passed and the new day arrived.
Vision came back again.
Stay close to daddy's home when storm clouds draw near perhaps.
Temporary shelter better than temporary vision lost.
Storm reduced clarity along the road.
Driving conditions were tough..
Almost as though I was blind to the next bend ahead.
And suddenly when the storm passed and the new day arrived.
Vision came back again.
Stay close to daddy's home when storm clouds draw near perhaps.
Temporary shelter better than temporary vision lost.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
this road or that.
For days I was drowning in it..
In this unwilling spirit to do almost anything.
I was caught up with the negativity @ work, socially, even myself.
I found no comfort in being home nor being out.
I questioned the source of this dismay.
Found no answer.
I read Allan's suicide letter..
I was wondering how it could have been so easy for him to just pack up and leave.
Or was it really easy.
Worshippin the devil indeed..
I was almost impressed with the very act.
I was stuck in a pit. Could not head forward nor back..
not up nor down.
Took time off to lay myself down to rest.
plucked up the courage to let the AH know how i was.
then..
I monitored and realised that the depression that accompanied al. were gone.
in the presence of the source of discomfort.. perhaps.. was comfort.
I learned to ease the tension and self medicate.
Allowed bits of happiness to creep in and yet maintain the distance from the bad effects.
wasn't easy But I was glad to even taste a fresh glimpse of happy.
I spread my cloth to align myself to nature once again.
New perspectives came to mind..
and the road to recovery continued..
Now that the mobility is back..
it's a lot easier even if its an uphill climb..
It's not easy having ...
happiness amidst sadness
loneliness amidst company
freedom amidst stifledness
silence amongst loved ones
laughter amidst pain
sorrow amidst celebration..
its this road or that.
simple comprehension.
In this unwilling spirit to do almost anything.
I was caught up with the negativity @ work, socially, even myself.
I found no comfort in being home nor being out.
I questioned the source of this dismay.
Found no answer.
I read Allan's suicide letter..
I was wondering how it could have been so easy for him to just pack up and leave.
Or was it really easy.
Worshippin the devil indeed..
I was almost impressed with the very act.
I was stuck in a pit. Could not head forward nor back..
not up nor down.
Took time off to lay myself down to rest.
plucked up the courage to let the AH know how i was.
then..
I monitored and realised that the depression that accompanied al. were gone.
in the presence of the source of discomfort.. perhaps.. was comfort.
I learned to ease the tension and self medicate.
Allowed bits of happiness to creep in and yet maintain the distance from the bad effects.
wasn't easy But I was glad to even taste a fresh glimpse of happy.
I spread my cloth to align myself to nature once again.
New perspectives came to mind..
and the road to recovery continued..
Now that the mobility is back..
it's a lot easier even if its an uphill climb..
It's not easy having ...
happiness amidst sadness
loneliness amidst company
freedom amidst stifledness
silence amongst loved ones
laughter amidst pain
sorrow amidst celebration..
its this road or that.
simple comprehension.
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
update on april
room a little neater,
bladed 15km
more organized work scheme
walking a little faster..
sleeping a little better.
bladed 15km
more organized work scheme
walking a little faster..
sleeping a little better.
Thursday, April 02, 2009
resolution perhaps..
every now and then..
i slip into this sense of unfulfillness..
even when i've achieved so much.
perhaps this happens when one frees up too much time
to give some stuff too much thought..
a little stuck in limbo..
1st april .. the start of the month shall find light in this new beginning..
a quarter of the year gone by.. no more time to lose.
30th April shall see the victory in e challenge with Mvis and I
a cleaned up room.. to perfection.
a clearer plan on the next flight.
and a more spiritual walk.
and twice a week running or blading.
for now i shall set these temporal goals..
little steps b4 i start to pick up flying again..
i slip into this sense of unfulfillness..
even when i've achieved so much.
perhaps this happens when one frees up too much time
to give some stuff too much thought..
a little stuck in limbo..
1st april .. the start of the month shall find light in this new beginning..
a quarter of the year gone by.. no more time to lose.
30th April shall see the victory in e challenge with Mvis and I
a cleaned up room.. to perfection.
a clearer plan on the next flight.
and a more spiritual walk.
and twice a week running or blading.
for now i shall set these temporal goals..
little steps b4 i start to pick up flying again..
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Laguna 2009
This trip was rather.. different from the previous one last year yet absolutely wholesome and heartwarming as ever. I was encouraged by the little deeds like Joy coming up just to say thank you for the lesson, nods and enthusiatic taking of notes during my lesson on 'leadership by example'
Didn't manage to have much time on my own except a short 2-3hour break..
I took a stroll around the cook house as Christain invited me down.. took a peek into the dark kitchen and was welcomed to step in to take a look.. walls were charcoal black and meal cooking was simple.. mass cooking in a big wok.. yet.. there was so much enthusiasm in meal time.. simple joys indeed...
Though I should not compare , I am reminded .. of the excess I have at home.. and to be thankful of the fact that I am not lacking ...
This is a unique ministry..
and as I took a walk back to my dorm.. a verse reminded me too that I have been warned that the road would never be easy but to carry on and walk with joy to finish up the race thats planned out for me..
Acts 20: 22 -24
Didn't manage to have much time on my own except a short 2-3hour break..
I took a stroll around the cook house as Christain invited me down.. took a peek into the dark kitchen and was welcomed to step in to take a look.. walls were charcoal black and meal cooking was simple.. mass cooking in a big wok.. yet.. there was so much enthusiasm in meal time.. simple joys indeed...
Though I should not compare , I am reminded .. of the excess I have at home.. and to be thankful of the fact that I am not lacking ...
This is a unique ministry..
and as I took a walk back to my dorm.. a verse reminded me too that I have been warned that the road would never be easy but to carry on and walk with joy to finish up the race thats planned out for me..
Acts 20: 22 -24
Friday, March 13, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
inquisitveness killed the moon
its been many days.. im still asking the same old stupid questions sometimes..
the horizon's a beauty.. gotta head onward..
the horizon's a beauty.. gotta head onward..
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Lesson 1
I took a day off to visit A .. we took a drive up to Mersing.. for someone I haven't met in almost 5 years we sure got along very well.. Guess, you just connect with some people very well and others not so well.. No matter how little or how hard you try .. u just have to be on the same wavelength.. and that's measured by plain Feeling.. simple yet a very complex word..
It took me almost 4 hours to reach Mersing with the stops at Larkin for breakfast and the yummy Bak Kut Teh for lunch..
However long the drive was.. it was worth it..
the fishing spot was a charming place not because it had anything I hadn't seen before.. it was a quiet, serene little beachfront with islands seen popping out of the calm sea in the not so distant horizon..
Children skinny dipping with absolutely no cares in the world..
footprints seen on moist sand..
gentle waves, leaves rustling,
streams of water making its way up the shores thru the cracks of the rocky coast and then withdrawing back in its ever so calming way..
In a bit I embarked on Lesson 1 with the Master. assembling, tying, hooking up and the attraction key.. the bait. and voila.. my graceful first swing..
it was a joy just being in the middle of nature's works.. and there I patiently waited.. unknown to what it'd feel like ... was it gonna be a tug, or a jerk or absolutely nothing.. I was oblivious to the answer and then A came along and offered me an icy cold rootbeer..
Recollecting thoughts..
Sun shining down on me as I half looked around the beauty surrounding me and paying a little attention to any movement of the rod.. and in all that heat and joy and sunshine and breeze.. I was offered an ICY COLD ROOTBEER.. man.. was that a simple yet HUGE addition to the joys in me already.. I can't explain..
and so.. as I continued..
my line felt a tug! I knew that was it.. too sure.. even when it was the first time..
the pull seemed a little heavier.. and I was hoping to see something big, fat.. but there at the end of my slightly bent rod appeared a cute little baby grouper.. so cute.. I couldn't find it in my heart to kill it. A decided to release it too and as he attempted to remove the hook from its mouth.. the suffering fella made me feel so bad I was even trying to find his other bigger friends..
His mouth opened so big, gasping for air and feeling the pain of the hook then even I felt its pain..
I say.. fishing isn't an easy hobby if you feel that much for friends of the ocean you usually see dead.. when they're alive .. they carry with them a vastly different identity..
I still feel your pain .. arrghh.. Id never want to be born a fish..
and so .. Im glad he was released back to his home..
and I packed up with no prize but it was good.. I was glad we saved 3 lives today.. =)
Oh and the parable of the tangled up string.. u see a tangle, u think its simple to untaggle. But the more you try , the worst it gets and after a while you don't even know where to start .. and then you realise.. is there a point?? This thing's just wasting time and with the efforts spent in trying to untangle something almost impossible.. there's still a possibility it might twine up again. Excess baggage perhaps?? and when we're faced with that in life , sometimes its so much easier to focus on the better part of life by simply cutting off the entangled part and carrying on where you left off.. in pursuit of greater things..
And so.. 7th March.. I've learnt lots.. Im glad.. I'm contented and sometimes feel like a fool but i'm en-route.... no turning back..
It took me almost 4 hours to reach Mersing with the stops at Larkin for breakfast and the yummy Bak Kut Teh for lunch..
However long the drive was.. it was worth it..
the fishing spot was a charming place not because it had anything I hadn't seen before.. it was a quiet, serene little beachfront with islands seen popping out of the calm sea in the not so distant horizon..
Children skinny dipping with absolutely no cares in the world..
footprints seen on moist sand..
gentle waves, leaves rustling,
streams of water making its way up the shores thru the cracks of the rocky coast and then withdrawing back in its ever so calming way..
In a bit I embarked on Lesson 1 with the Master. assembling, tying, hooking up and the attraction key.. the bait. and voila.. my graceful first swing..
it was a joy just being in the middle of nature's works.. and there I patiently waited.. unknown to what it'd feel like ... was it gonna be a tug, or a jerk or absolutely nothing.. I was oblivious to the answer and then A came along and offered me an icy cold rootbeer..
Recollecting thoughts..
Sun shining down on me as I half looked around the beauty surrounding me and paying a little attention to any movement of the rod.. and in all that heat and joy and sunshine and breeze.. I was offered an ICY COLD ROOTBEER.. man.. was that a simple yet HUGE addition to the joys in me already.. I can't explain..
and so.. as I continued..
my line felt a tug! I knew that was it.. too sure.. even when it was the first time..
the pull seemed a little heavier.. and I was hoping to see something big, fat.. but there at the end of my slightly bent rod appeared a cute little baby grouper.. so cute.. I couldn't find it in my heart to kill it. A decided to release it too and as he attempted to remove the hook from its mouth.. the suffering fella made me feel so bad I was even trying to find his other bigger friends..
His mouth opened so big, gasping for air and feeling the pain of the hook then even I felt its pain..
I say.. fishing isn't an easy hobby if you feel that much for friends of the ocean you usually see dead.. when they're alive .. they carry with them a vastly different identity..
I still feel your pain .. arrghh.. Id never want to be born a fish..
and so .. Im glad he was released back to his home..
and I packed up with no prize but it was good.. I was glad we saved 3 lives today.. =)
Oh and the parable of the tangled up string.. u see a tangle, u think its simple to untaggle. But the more you try , the worst it gets and after a while you don't even know where to start .. and then you realise.. is there a point?? This thing's just wasting time and with the efforts spent in trying to untangle something almost impossible.. there's still a possibility it might twine up again. Excess baggage perhaps?? and when we're faced with that in life , sometimes its so much easier to focus on the better part of life by simply cutting off the entangled part and carrying on where you left off.. in pursuit of greater things..
And so.. 7th March.. I've learnt lots.. Im glad.. I'm contented and sometimes feel like a fool but i'm en-route.... no turning back..
Thursday, March 05, 2009
Mraz.. makes it seem so easy..
I'm yours
Well uh you dawned on me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
and now I'm trying to get back
Before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my bestest
Nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon its again my turn to win some or learn some
I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours
Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love
Listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing
we're just one big family
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love love
So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours
I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and I laughed
I guess what I'm saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue
I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours
Well no no, well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
Listen to the music of the moment come and dance with me ah lah one big family
([2nd time:] ah, la happy family)
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love love love
I won't hesitate no more
Oh no more no more no more
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved, I'm sure
Theres no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours
No I won't hesitate no more, no more
This cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours, I'm yours
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
and now I'm trying to get back
Before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my bestest
Nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon its again my turn to win some or learn some
I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours
Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love
Listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing
we're just one big family
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love love
So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours
I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and I laughed
I guess what I'm saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue
I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours
Well no no, well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
Listen to the music of the moment come and dance with me ah lah one big family
([2nd time:] ah, la happy family)
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love love love
I won't hesitate no more
Oh no more no more no more
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved, I'm sure
Theres no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours
No I won't hesitate no more, no more
This cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours, I'm yours
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
gerbi speaks
gerbi said its better to solve AH before solving M..
I think so too..
dependency issues sometimes inflate to balllooning and rough tides.
gotta be rational.
I think so too..
dependency issues sometimes inflate to balllooning and rough tides.
gotta be rational.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
for His glory..
Have I been using my gifts well?
2 consecutive sessions I've related my stories to them in a personal way.
For unknown reasons to me, they've been touched.
Tears that flowed for the litle sharing on my part.
Did i say the right-wrong things or the wrong-right things.
I'd better be spirit led.
zm commited her life to Him.
wow!
He's working..
I am glad!
2 consecutive sessions I've related my stories to them in a personal way.
For unknown reasons to me, they've been touched.
Tears that flowed for the litle sharing on my part.
Did i say the right-wrong things or the wrong-right things.
I'd better be spirit led.
zm commited her life to Him.
wow!
He's working..
I am glad!
fresh weekend.
Weekend was packed.
many hours to the preparation for sf and phil lessons on sat.
Survived even with 3 hours sleep.
Rather fulfilling, goal focussed.
took my mind off the rot.
Lookin 4ward to Laguna and sunny skies again.
Its been a short time but it was just about time..
19days vs 120 days.. yeah of course its about time.
D shared with me a little on a more personal level.
Love is a commitment and a choice.
and in Biblical days..
"and then He loved her" struck me that it was a choice.
Perhaps that'd change my perspective that it isn't just sparks and all emotion..
there's something a lot more mature than just the here and now feelings..
SF discussions went well..
Phil plans smooth..
and time spent with the kids and libud were awesome too..
its a wonderful sunday.. =)
many hours to the preparation for sf and phil lessons on sat.
Survived even with 3 hours sleep.
Rather fulfilling, goal focussed.
took my mind off the rot.
Lookin 4ward to Laguna and sunny skies again.
Its been a short time but it was just about time..
19days vs 120 days.. yeah of course its about time.
D shared with me a little on a more personal level.
Love is a commitment and a choice.
and in Biblical days..
"and then He loved her" struck me that it was a choice.
Perhaps that'd change my perspective that it isn't just sparks and all emotion..
there's something a lot more mature than just the here and now feelings..
SF discussions went well..
Phil plans smooth..
and time spent with the kids and libud were awesome too..
its a wonderful sunday.. =)
Thursday, February 19, 2009
betrayal?
A back stab to some,
Emotions filled with hatred for others..
my perspective's -a way to disappoint an act of love.
M asked me what drives me..
With no hesitation, I said 'Love'
Asked why..
it was simple,
in love , there is sincerity in giving.
and in giving I derive joy.
to friends, family, or even ppl i barely know.
If I could make 1 more person happier by spending even $1 on 3 packs of tissue
or.. buy mum a cook book when she least expects it..
or even being a supportive friend without expecting an equivalent return.
There's great joy in giving and yet when you give and give..
you're bound to face disappointments..
Perhaps disappointments that seem difficult to forget..
because in love u forgive and with that same source you draw strength to continue giving and
they still chose to leave u beaten down..
do they derive joy seeing u down,
a grave sense of betrayal filled e downcast mind,
couldn't stand up for a while..
but now.. I've learned that
giving's only for the deserving and
I should stop playing jesus..
I may just be a smashed snail if I tread on e wrong path again..
once smashed forever gone..
Need to harden my shell and stay in the snail cave for awhile..
Emotions filled with hatred for others..
my perspective's -a way to disappoint an act of love.
M asked me what drives me..
With no hesitation, I said 'Love'
Asked why..
it was simple,
in love , there is sincerity in giving.
and in giving I derive joy.
to friends, family, or even ppl i barely know.
If I could make 1 more person happier by spending even $1 on 3 packs of tissue
or.. buy mum a cook book when she least expects it..
or even being a supportive friend without expecting an equivalent return.
There's great joy in giving and yet when you give and give..
you're bound to face disappointments..
Perhaps disappointments that seem difficult to forget..
because in love u forgive and with that same source you draw strength to continue giving and
they still chose to leave u beaten down..
do they derive joy seeing u down,
a grave sense of betrayal filled e downcast mind,
couldn't stand up for a while..
but now.. I've learned that
giving's only for the deserving and
I should stop playing jesus..
I may just be a smashed snail if I tread on e wrong path again..
once smashed forever gone..
Need to harden my shell and stay in the snail cave for awhile..
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
comin out of the shell..
I plucked up the courage to crawl outa my shell to see the world again.
and realised its beauty even though my toes had been stepped on..
For sometime, I had been living in the land of odds..
Comfortably living though I knew it was dark.
I got accustomed to darkness
perhaps because in darkness I could attempt to offer some light.
I was unprepared, and then whilst still attempting to light my fire,
I got burned..
Not mildly, perhaps 3rd degree.
and when pain seeps in after the initial burn..
it's unimaginable, incomprehendable and lingers day after day.
Certainly, time's a great help to the numbing pain after sometime.
But memories of it can be excruciating.
What have I learned..
Never to play with fire again?
Never to give more than what I'm capable of?
How is that measured ?
Perhaps I'l learn over time.
But yes, I remain stubborn and true to myself,
that I'm made for giving,
because ultimately, its so much easier to love than hate.
to care than scorn at another.
and that will be me.
I've given, got burned and still learning.
Guess I'm still growing up.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
2009 brings me..
The Year was welcomed with a Bang whilst I was away..
Now that I'm back.. I'm going away again for a short while..
Lately, I've continued doing everything for the whole world.. leaving little for myself to breathe..
I do enjoy the times spent with all those important to me but it gets a little tricky at times when everyone insists on having a piece of me or get disappointed when I don't appear to make time for them..
This started right as we entered the new year..
Prayer works wonders and yet often we fall behind forgetting the miracles He's done for us time and again..
Lifestyle's got to change..
Got to set a firm foot to go thru the revamp..
IT's days like today that alot's fulfilled as I caught up with many friends and relatives thru the festive holiday.. but still some have to be neglected and I'll have to make up for it later..
Got to get my checklist done as I think things thru with the waves in view..
Now that I'm back.. I'm going away again for a short while..
Lately, I've continued doing everything for the whole world.. leaving little for myself to breathe..
I do enjoy the times spent with all those important to me but it gets a little tricky at times when everyone insists on having a piece of me or get disappointed when I don't appear to make time for them..
This started right as we entered the new year..
Prayer works wonders and yet often we fall behind forgetting the miracles He's done for us time and again..
Lifestyle's got to change..
Got to set a firm foot to go thru the revamp..
IT's days like today that alot's fulfilled as I caught up with many friends and relatives thru the festive holiday.. but still some have to be neglected and I'll have to make up for it later..
Got to get my checklist done as I think things thru with the waves in view..
Thursday, January 08, 2009
farmers woes..
u plough hard..
someone comes into your farm to take away your harvest..
u bring up a child
he grows up to chose someone else to turn to..
u put in efforts for loved ones..
they turn away from u..
guess.. its normal isn't it..
the ones who benefit never seem to be the farmers..
dont need to take things so seriously...
someone comes into your farm to take away your harvest..
u bring up a child
he grows up to chose someone else to turn to..
u put in efforts for loved ones..
they turn away from u..
guess.. its normal isn't it..
the ones who benefit never seem to be the farmers..
dont need to take things so seriously...
back from thailand..
back from BKK..
the air was bad.. cough, bad throat and flu..
had a good time though..
not whilst spendin money..
best time's are priceless..
just lyin on the beach,
enjoying the beauty of nature..
in all forms..
the consistent waves comin up onto shores,
rustling leaves whilst the gentle brezzes whistle..
the mountains..
the colour of the sky as the sun rises..
perfection.
Samui... I will be back....
the air was bad.. cough, bad throat and flu..
had a good time though..
not whilst spendin money..
best time's are priceless..
just lyin on the beach,
enjoying the beauty of nature..
in all forms..
the consistent waves comin up onto shores,
rustling leaves whilst the gentle brezzes whistle..
the mountains..
the colour of the sky as the sun rises..
perfection.
Samui... I will be back....
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