Friendship

Friendship

A simple word yet this relationship often curtails a wide array of perspectives, feelings, depth. Often, I prefer looking at it simply. It’s something that goes a long way when its well cultivated, it’s a relationship that lasts sometimes even longer than marriages. I like to know that people understand me. I usually attempt to understand people through behavior, tune myself to a comfortable level and read them so that I’m able to tailor my actions to suit their preferences. Often..

Yet there are times when we get to a level deeper and fall into the comfort zone that can be occasionally dangerous. We say things we shouldn’t and assume what we know or ignorantly speak our minds without being concerned about the feelings of the friend. We end up hurting. Often unknowingly.

But why can it be so complicated. When it seems so simple..
Often, my temper is kept in check. I read expressions, behavior and when temperature rises I tend to take a step back to ease the tension. Rarely would I get offended, or enter into a state of anger. Today, I allowed my emotions to get the better of me. If I could get angry easily I’d deem a large part of it a fault of mine.

Today, I tuned myself to ignore expressions that irritated me, I repeatedly told myself to calm down and ‘de-sensitize’. I made it clear not just once that there wouldn’t be a problem if the trip could not go on. I found a need to repeat that because on various occasions I was being told that I was forceful and did not allow people to have a choice and ‘it’s always about what I wanted’. Even with these clarifications today it was no use. People still look upon me as selfish, ungrateful and think I make use of them..
…
Am I all of that?
……
Females tend to make it complicated thinking that their feelings matter more. Perhaps this ‘weaker’ sex tend to get a little mixed up with feelings vs objectivity and screw their minds up a little too much for their own good. Well.. just a little bad to come with the good coz females are the more ‘feely’ of the 2.
I’ve only got into arguments with 2 or 3 gfs . Often we shrug it off and give way but sometimes when expectations rise up too much for me to handle. I blast. Yes like today.
….
I think friendship is simple but simple as it is and feely as it is, I do think I hold objectivity in high perspectives.

Today I may’ve lost a friend..
.. but I believe I’ve given my best.

Friendship’s supposed to built people up not tear them apart.