foolishly sweet.

[E= I'm the world's best predator, aren't I? Everything about you invites you in - my voice, my face, even my smell. As if I need any of that!
E=I was afraid.. because for well, obvious reasons, I can't stay with you. And I'm afraid that I'd like to stay with you, much more than I should
I should have left long ago. I should leave now But I don't know if I can.
B=I don't want you to leave.."
EWhich is exactly why I should. But don't worry. I'm essentially a selfish creature. I crave your company too much to do what I should.
B=I'm glad.
E=Don't be.It's not only your company that I crave! Never forget that. Never forget that I am more dangerous to you than I am to anyone eslse.
....
E=Maybe that's not the right comparison. Maybe it would be too easy to turn down the brandy. Perhaps I should have made our alcoholic a heroin addict instead.
Yes you are exactly my brand of heroin.]


obviously adapted from the book of the year.. child like talk , silly as it may sound. But a very delightful read to carry on..

Christmas day events..

Had to go around 3 parties today and it was a little taxing coz i didn't get tat much sleep but quite an experience being a part of the Christmas celebrations with different families..

Rene's plc was cosy.. realised that even tho she was usually quite a nonchalent person her home decorations were clearly intricately designed.. even the red china flask blended in very well with the dining hall's christmasy feel.. cld feel the close ties between her and her daughters..thot abt mum & I and wished we cld share personal stuff to that extend..

After grabbin a cuppa my Favourite Hazelnut Low fat Latte @ starbucks to keep awake, next stop was Lynn's to pass her e wines n upon arrival I was invited into Uncle's house.. this hse was well furnished too.. 3 kids messed the house a little but the decors were v pleasantly arranged too.. aahh. when i finally get my own place.. ha..
Also.. the family.. all had their share of cleaning up the table, boys were serving the girls.. 3 sibilings got along v well.. nothin like my household nor bro & I..

Last stop was at pek's plc.. was having conversatin with Emme & Yang and Ian & wife and they were cute.. asking each other how's it like sleeping with each other everyday and their weird sleeping habits.. ha.. was amused by the things that they talked about.. drooling, punching, leaning, turning away from each other... marriage.. haha.. there's really lots to be prepared for..

quite a day...

Counting down to Christmas...

It's day 6. 24th December.. 1 day to Christmas..



Another day of giving..



i decided to do something different again today.. mum suggested delifrance or Han's for dinner.. I bravely suggested.. why don't I cook ... she said good idea.. and so I did.. dad helped me slice onions and garlic and capsicum and mushroom.. hahaha.. that's quite a bit.. he was quite a good helper.. and preparation was a lot quicker..



Finally after 2 hours i managed to whip up my Aglio Olio with home-made mushroom soup for the whole family.. and Not forgetting the beer I bought just for dad and bro..



It was a fun time with mum & dad's help and the music in the background enhanced the cookin atmosphere.. Cooking can be therapeutic..



After I went to with friendS for svc and it was great being able to cross the hour to Christmas in the perfect setting .. at Church..

Night ended late..

Totally exhausted but absolutely amazing!



*love.joy.patience*

Counting down to Christmas

It's day 5. 23rd December.. 2 days to Christmas..



I was done with work quite early into the day and finished up the rest of e Christmas cards.. In those cards were simple words.. BUT heartfelt ones..

I thanked and praised and encouraged.. I feel good doing these 3.. These things go a long way especially when you mean whatever you pen..



Candlelight service was v good .. as always.. it seems like you really feel that it's Christmas when you're in Church.. Pastor MH reminded us of focus in God even thru the gloom all around .. I think many related to what he said and I did coz it's usually when I realise there's no way out.. when I'm all helpless that I remember this creator who's known everything way in advance.. Then I realise He's the man.. He's got it all under control..



Even after all these years , going to Church still makes perfect sense to me.. I'm thankful for my enending faith..

*joy.understanding*

Counting down to Christmas...

IT's day 4.. 22nd December.. 3 days to Christmas..

Yesterday didn't end too well.. somehow.. everytime I try to do something good for some one..the person just doesn't apreciate .. early this morning.. it's more than 1 person..
What can I say.. life's like a box of chocolates.. you really never know what to expect.. Giving and not expecting anything in return.. not even 'nice-ness' or a sense of appreciation.. now that's tough..
Guess i've got to carry on.. Santa prob delivered some wrong pressies along the way.. but he's still gotta carry on his journey.. ha..

Oh well.. today.. I decided what present I wanted to get for ykJXH.. pressies for everyone.. gotta be fair.. =)
And for once I decided to have dinner with my colleagues.. been keepin to myself for awhile .. dont enjoy too much of the 'auntie' talk.. but today's an effort. =)

And tonight.. hmm.. the day's gone by so quickly.. perhaps a little time for myself tonight.. feels like some bug's gonna hit me v soon..

*love.joy*

Counting down to Christmas

It's day 3 .. 21st December Christmas is day 4 from today..

Thought I'd take time off myself by making some kids happy..
Don't know if it even meant anything to some of them but guess.. we generally had a good time.

Brought J, Joyce, YK, Yan to watch Twilight..
Awesome show..

Sunday was over before I knew it but I just hope that I made their day.. =)

*love.patience*

Counting down Christmas

IT's day 2, 20th dec.. Christmas is 5 days from today

Let's see.. Christmas is a time of giving..

I drove to the beaches of ... to lie on the fine sands whilst gazing up to the clear blue sunny skies.. what a joy!
put in effort to spend time with Lynn since I dont ever seem to make enough time for her.. blading in ECP
and then with the G sistas for a fantastic swim..
Evening I thought I was nice by spending some time with the young ones but seems like it wasn't the best thing I had done..
By 11pm I was dead tired but mum and dad called for a ride and so off i went to pick em up so that we could chill with a cuppa tea tarik in Little India..

May not have made everyone happy but I'm quite sure one of them's pleased.. =)
What a day! tiring but truly fulfilling.. =)

*peace.understanding*

COunting down to Christmas

IT's day 1 ..
Christmas is day 7 from today~
Seems alot quicker looking at it this way..
Let's see.. Christmas is a time of giving..

in the mornings of day 1 I managed to do something new..
An immaterial gift to a meanie..
What good is it to feel stifled with what you've always felt.
And even if only you feel this way..
Sometimes you feel alot better saying what you truly feel..
Truthfulness sometimes makes a weaker person..
But guess its alright.. it's when you share that you derive the joys in giving.. =)

*love*

Imperfect is me..

People look at me and wonder how I manage to do all this..
the mirror says I have done nothing..
People say they're in admiration of the things i do..
I say.. what have I done..
People think my life's complete..
I say i'm still looking for completeness..
People wonder how i've time for all this..
I shrug and wonder too..
People think I'm happy..
am I?
People think I'm a good model to follow..
I beg to differ..


Things seem 'perfecter' when they are looked upon at surface.. when the glass magnifies.. only bacteria's seen.. isn't this the case all the time..

I'm thankful though that I'm still working towards perfection..

Imperfect is me..

weekend of revival..

It's a special weekend.. from the video at fcbc - the movie played at s.f. - the same video shared at small group today..
For a strange reason, my outlook on Christianity has moved on to a new phase.
Such revivals don't happen often and this weekend has displayed how God changes things with a simple snap of his fingers..
One moment at basepoint and next soaring to great heights..

Facing the giants was a fantastic movie.. and glad the reviews from everyone was a 'thumbs up'

Perhaps when He decides to do something.. it's really done in perfection..

I'm thankful for this experience..

and I'm happy to know that we're on a journey even closer than before.. Yes the one that's been with me alot this weekend. =)

ecp bladin.

you think you've lost it all and you realise that it's still with you.
you think you've given it up and you realise you need it more than before..

What can it be?

song sung blue..

"Dream A Little Dream"

Stars shining bright above you, night breezes seem to whisper, "I love you".

Birds singing in the sycamore tree, "Dream a little dream of me".

Say "nighty-night" and kiss me.

Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me.

While I'm alone and blue as can be, dream a little dream of me.

Stars fading, but I linger on, dear.

Still craving your kiss, I'm longing to linger till dawn, dear.

Just saying this: Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you.Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you.

But in your dreams whatever they be, dream a little dream of me.

Stars fading, but I linger on, dear.

Still craving your kiss, I'm longing to linger till dawn, dear.

Just saying this: Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you.

Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you.

But in your dreams whatever they be, dream a little dream of me.

another life gone..

continued reading the papers n watching the televised news of LHW's passing.. felt an immense amount of sadness..
I believe I had an encounter with the girl before and as I read on about what her husband said.. I couldn't imagine the amount of grief he's going through..
Life's really unpredictable..

happiness..

was having a conversation with Lw few days back and we got into this conversation of life, disappointment, happiness taken for ranted and how situations we face build our characters..
one thing that struck me was his idea of happiness..

saw two 5 year old boys on a beach.. splashing water at each other .. fall into the water and not having a care in the world. oblivious to ppl watching them.. unknown to the pains in the world.. focussed on their splashing for a good length of time..

We onlookers..watch with envy.. and cannot avoid a smile while enjoying this simple sight..with a deep sense of desire to be in those shoes.. often we're unable to derive this child-like happiness.. because we just can't let go.. don't have the capacity to place everything aside to just be happy..
Perhaps... that describes me ..

well.. I guess.. it's all about what we want.. and even now.. when we're blessed with so much.. we look at what we lack instead of what we've been provided with..
there must be onlookers peering our way with envy
and... we dont even know!!

if i were a bird...

what have I been up to
waking up shaking my head to the mess at my desk
planning the day with lil energy..
working my A** off trying to get the numbers in before the bell dongs~
been rather sleepless thinking how it's gonna be done..
mostly looking toward the weekend to have some fun
happy drinks with pikai
attending weddings or getting informed with who's getting married talk.. or gossipping..
my itouch got kidnapped by ming, cant wait to get it back tm,
constantly lookin forward to after work hours to hang w 'coolness'
still having friends trying to hook me up with the many Mr So and so's..
havent plucked up the courage to oblige..

losing da fight..
being a bird's nice..
just fly, and look for worms when hunger strikes..
shldnt be too tough.. there are worms everywhere..
and when they're bored .. perhaps stunts in the open skies..
rainy days, hide in some hole.. holes are everywhere too..
need to poo, anywhere too.. or on some spanking clean shiny white car..

hiaks..

onward climb..

its so easy to chuck it all aside and be contented with what i've already achieved.
But ppl around dont allow me to ..
or is it their influence over me..
perhaps it could be the way i simply cannot stand underachieving what I started out trying to achieve..
whatever it is..
I have to continue workin on it...

reminder bumps... =)

lately i've been a little out of sorts..
wondering wat the world's trying to do to me..
is it just me?
maybe..
too serious for my own liking..
need to chill..
be at peace with myself..
keep the heart pounding away..
go for more runs..
and be swinging single happy~
there's a lot instore..

yesterday was another wake up call..
i drove right up to a Humongous kerb.
thought i heard a bomb blast..
but thank God.. it wasnt a biggie..
had to drive at 40 km/hr from ecp -pie- cte back home..
almost dozed off at that slow speed at 2am.

things like that are placed into my days
to remind me to wake up ..
ha
to be aware of the dangers that lurk around
and yet steer clear..
n when i do bump up on them..
just smile and say.. thank God I'm still alive.
He's seen me thru once again!
things seem a little more enjoyable that way..

now.. i got to spend more money to get that board done ..
but no biggie, im still alive! =)

battered..

another eventful day..
accusations beyond comprehension
unappreciated thoughts
accompanied with an indifferent heart.
should've reminded myself of I.

selfless selfish goes fishing for selfish intentions..

Come What May...
never knew I could feel like this...

its def not the same anymore

unexpecting expecting the expected

disappointment vs betrayal
truth vs decept..
perhaps reasons involved beyond code breaking
the difference of being within and not.
questioned
technique used or plain fishing
for a purpose or plain curious
foolish intent
schemes galore..
utilisation in oblivion
an ocean's 11..

well done.

blabbers...

Spoke to a client who’s a designer.. her perspective of marriage’s a little different from the norm. Why do people get married she asked.. She wants to just wait it out.. see what happens, let each year pass .. kids? She loves em but she’d rather donate money to kids in poverty stricken families.. a rather different view altogether..

Driving around today and thought about the gloom all around.. didn’t realize that it has actually reached main street.. right smack in orchard road. I parked at orchard the other day only to realize it was too easy getting a lot.. or rather.. there were too many lots avail at that time. Streets seemed too empty for ‘dinner hour’
Spoke to 2 client’s today and both are worried about the economic situation, young diploma holders wondering if there was a possibility they might be retrenched..

For me.. it’s not easy as well since I’m now dealing with clients having negative thoughts of the foreseeable future.. but.. it’s ok, I’ve accepted the fact that this is gonna continue and we’ve just got to work harder.. the fittest will survive..

On hind side, the trip up Penang was rather insightful. When you set out to do God’s work, He makes everything fall into place. We were blessed with excellent weather the 1st morning of our arrival. Days before that saw horrid stormy weather and Yet the 3 days of our visit, We were blessed with summer sunny clear blue skies! =) We did not visit as members of the main contributing team but I definitely felt advantaged to have been able to be a part of the visit. I was reminded of how we often take things for granted , put ourselves first, deny responsibilities to help out in church..

And there, the people in Church were raring to move forward.. a new breed of volunteers wanting to make a change to help the hearing impaired both in penang and in the other parts of Malaysia. Some of the HI attendees from Ipoh and KL travelled 7 hours just to attend this camp and yet there were no signs of fatigue written on their faces.. and 70 year old Helen - the ONLY interpretor in church interpreting service after service .. inspired by her strength to serve..

The message sent out was akin to what moved me in Philippines, Deny Ourselves, Take up the Cross and Follow Christ.. Indeed we know it all, but we’ve failed to shed the layers that have been keeping us warm to step out of our comfort zones to explore so much more of what we can do for Him.
I had little sleep this weekend but I’m still glad I was given the opportunity to be a part of this.

having that false sense of ownership..

Knowing that you don't own what you've been working on sucks..
knowing that what seems perfect is the most imprefect ..
knowing that you've won and lost again..
or that you've lost and continued losing..
simpleness is most ideal at times..
thinking less is best..

Heading to Penang for the ministry trip tis weekend, hope the focus shifts soon.. and recovery's raring to kick in..

sleepless thursday~

IT's been the strangest 2 weeks..
things happpen for a reason but I dont know what the reason is right now..
Well, much has happened the last couple of months .. spread out over many different areas..

So much more is happening soon..
-Emme and Junyang are finally tying the knot. Can't believe it was almost 5 years since I put their hands around each other on the dancefloor.. haha.. So glad I did something GOOD!
-Was invited to some abstract party of soughts and .. I'm glad I took the plunge of rejection to protect myself from further bizzare-ness
-Work problems comin up one after another.. the current one may have compliance involved.. been praying real hard for a smooth solution.

Longing for a break from all this..
to be swept with a wave of relief ,
a whisp of fresh oxygen
to ease this choke
caused by the soot of the turmoil..
every new day gloom fills the news channels
can't do without being updated
yet can't deal with the continuous downcast atmosphere.

Gotta strike some balance
betwn the pressues at work
and get some exercise for rejuvenation..

Tough times are ahead but..
I'm confident I'd be equipped with sufficient strength to beat this..

Singapore Math

Was listening to many hours of class 95 today..

and I wondered how true this was..
apparantly , US is impressed with Singapore's level of Maths that they are starting to adopt our methods??

I googled it to find out a thesis done that mentioned "Singapore students ranked 1st in the world in Maths and that Singapore has a world class mathematics system ..."
From : http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rlz=1T4SUNA_enSG281SG281&q=singapore+maths+%2d+used+in+US

so it is true!

wah! .. and considering im above the national average( for math i.e.).. heh.. im one of those maths genius'

tick tock..

What change would there be
If one could foretell and see
time usually benefits..
often, it also forfeits
Seasons change..
Plans are arranged
A life is born
and yet another's gone..

If this value is with time,
Why does one just wait in the line
Questions create diffuculty
for thinking assertively
in built character
or just change by forces of nature,
stand afar to watch seasons change
or experiencing the warmth and pains,

time benefits
so let it be
life's too short
can't afford..

TOKYO vs SINGAPORE

Finally Im back again.. the last of all the travelling for 2008.
I'm done ! I'm so glad to be SIngaporean and I appreciate home lots more..
Looking back, these 12 months I've been to 3 major places I've been wanting to visit since years ago. Maldives, UK,Paris and Japan.
Experienced enough of the different cultures,weather,food, people... I'm so glad to call Singapore.. HOME.

This japan trip is quite somethin.. a totally wild asian culture. service is no 1 in the world i dare say but language .. they are simply unbelievable.. some cant even understand basic english like , food, drink, tea.. and no wonder the suicide rate's so high in Tokyo. The crowd, noise.. can drive even 'cool-headed' people like me to find a hole to burry myself..
On a few ocassions, I felt so claustrophobic I wanted to just find a place where there were no buildings, no noise.. and im glad there was that trip to Hakone nearer Mt Fuji, where I had the mountains and was 2000 feet above sea level.

I appreciate home even more than before, everything's so central , I dont have to travel an hour underground just within the heart of town, I prefer my skin a little moist than absolutely dry, I get to go home to a noise-less environment, I get to walk just 10 min to a quiet reservoir like Mac Ritchie, I get to eat vegetables in most meals, I don't have to pay $2.50 for 20 mins parkin, I dont have to face grey buildings every day. I still can get a yummy plate of char kway teow for $3. I don't have to be drinking green tea every meal.. and when i really want to shop , Orchard road is superb!!!

hahaha.. im so glad to be home..
Singapore - best holiday place!
HA!

day six..

it's day 6th now.. n the whole event's over..
time flies.. the years, months n days..
just a while ago.. I sat there looking at her.. wondering how i'd really feel when she's gone..
wonder no more now..
Certainly meant alot more to me than I even thought. The visits were intentional, I didn't wanna lose a loved one not knowing her on a more personal level.. That's what happened to dad's mum and i didn't wanna make the same mistake again..
While I was at it.. I constantly told myself that we'd never know when ... but we'll just do our part.. n I was largely disappointed with myself initially not being able to take her for that joy ride I promised.. But I believed He had a purpose of putting everything into place n the joy ride just wasn't part of the plan. Looking back, I still wish I had the chance to..

Well.. learnt alot over time.. n recently, I just realised that I've been taking my very own life for granted.. 86 years is alot to make good off.. n if I ever get to see those years.. I better make the best out of it.. I'm glad granny did - n one of her achievements was in creating us.. without her, woosh n the whole family line would have been non existent..

today was a tough and tiring day ..
off to rest for another long day tmr...

going home..

not somethin pleasant to blog about .. but I'd just do it to get it off my chest.
30/6 was not a long time ago. and once again im reminded of how short life can be. It really is His choice when and how He decides to take you home.

Thought she was gettin better.. n a turn of events just changes everything. Im glad I did my part by being there sporadically. Now looking back, I certainly miss those times where I would just hold her hand n talk to her about nothin in particular. Asking the silliest questions just to entertain her.. asking her where she travelled just to get her thinkin.. feeding her.. asking her how old she and I was..

Well..in the beginning ..I felt at peace seeing her lay there in such a peaceful state..
but i just realised again.. i miss her already..

BUT it's ok, she's in a much better place..

weekend's over

looking back.. it definitely wasn't much of a restful weekend and yet.. there's so much to remember. It's great when conflicts with friends and specific loved ones are kept away and there's joy and love buzzing all around.. =)
tis is one happy weekend.

Spoke to Mar n friends abt r/ships n the why's and how come's .. and then even without a valid answer from them. I derived an answer to my questions.. tis week brought alot of the past back.. but I'm so glad to be able to look at it all without a tinge of regret. Finally something to be proud of.

And now as the new week arrives.. I've got to get back into the motion n make things happen.. been distracted of late due to my latest addiction..

n at 122am.. hunger strikes..yikes..

waiting~

it's such moments where re-thinking of actions needed..
guess when all things look rosy,
people generally like to bask in the goodness n not have a thing to worry, about what's ahead..
no different from the crowd..
although, thinkin lots both in good times..
n not so ideal moments..
its good taking a closer look at how certain situations can be handled better.

It's strange how so much has happened last 12 months..
how His work has become so much a part of the journey
and whilst goodness shines, waddling away from dark waters still prevails..
many ponder at this confusion spoken of so often
and some still wonder what could possibly wear off this heart to please Him.

Guess 'm only human
and the answer remains to be answered.
Things certainly happen for reasons that we little beings on earth may never decipher
and yet we crave to know ..
and if God knew everything..
why did he still let some things happen ..

never doubted the willing heart to serve..
but this being is far too earthly to be worthy..
Strung upon matters that shouldn't be
carrying sacks that should have been unloaded at checkpoint
and reloading new ones that are far too heavy.

perkin up

changes inevitable..
some need to be ammended
corrections need to be made,
reminded so often
yet chosing the unforgiven path,
such is the err of man
yet one who stands firm in absolute belief
still remain on the other side..
it's not easy..
but what can be so difficult..

as i read rick warren's rendition..
life's struggles serve to shape our character
and what more can we learn if life were a bed of roses..

Amazing Love ,
How can it be,
That you my King would die for me,
Amazing Love,
I know that it's true,
It's my joy to honour you..
IN all I do, I honour you..

All In good time..

being me

being me..

it's not easy ..
satisfying the whole world but me
It's so easy ..
to think of everyone except me
and when I do.
it's still about everyone ..

is it too difficult being me.

being selfless n being selfish..
whats the difference when people only see what they want to see..

France - Paris

France - Paris 8/7/2008

Went for a walk today along Champs-Élysées .. weather was cold and windy - quite unlike the summer I had expected.. 13 degrees..I had to buy a small bottle of wine from the supermarket to keep me warm as we walked along that stretch - the broadest avenue in Paris. That same road connected from Arc de triomp and also led to the entire area where I finally caught a terrific view of the Eiffel Tower , Louvre, couple of the other ole dames and of course..

Cathédrale Notre Dame de Paris..
as i walked into the church, I realised that it wasn't just a tourist place, had to tone down the excited tourist behaviour to a calmer me.. it was an 800 yr old church and I respected the place as God's house, (the architecture was simply a piece of beauty)
As I looked upon the cruxificion of Jesus Christ near the entrance.. I was suddenly reminded of the pain and felt so small all over again.. His sacrifice washed us clean and yet I, the one who always preaches remains so polluted in today's world. That image in my mind, serves as a reminder for me to stay on track and not lose focus.

UK- Leeds

6th July 2008 830am, UK - Leeds
Woke up to a lovely sunday morning in Leeds,
decided that I had to set aside time.. quiet time and tis shall be the perfect morning.
First thing of the day.
A's sisters room is cosy.. and it overlooked his garden isle.. some plants in full bloom with multiple colours..
the sky may appear gloomy, the temperature cold
but when I overlook these factors and focus on the beauty of God's creation-Nature,
and fill my morning with thanksgiving for all that He's given me..
I move on to a whole new level..
So I turned on e Gary V Cd,
sat down and thought of the closest people in my life
and prayed for each one of them..

and when I was done,
the song lyrics played..
and comforted me with answers to my frequent frustrations..

"So we ask wats going on.
what is right we still do wrong..

letting go to know the truth is not so hard to do.
it’s the heart that’s got the will to open up for him to fill
entrusting and believeing in is all we got to do
its just the heart that’s got to move
for him to show his love that’s been there
even when we never care
take hold of his hand

let go and you'll understand

guess now u realise u cant be on your own
and all your cares should be cast upon his throne.

Let it go. "


Doesn't sound that difficult affterall..

home again..

this time i managed to catch up with the rest I badly needed..
all recharged now..
tis trip was kinda short but it was great being able to steal pockets of time to rest, read, catch up on e weight gain and a fair deal of clothes shopping w the sale. =) rather satisfying..

came home to great news abt granny. =)

another 4 days b4 i take flight again. hope the work's all sorted out b4 i leave. and I look forward to my adventures in the faraway land. =)

5 am blog..

just done with a round of docs..
rushing just so that I have a peace of mind over the weekend..
y am i loading myself w so many weekends away..
lesson learnt.
this weekend doesnt leave me with much of a choice to disappear..
live with it. Argh!

On hind side,
looking forward to the long break.

Hope the conflicts back home would be put to rest during the 2 weeks.
It's been a while since I've dealt with such a tough individual..
leaving me pondering over the last few days..
usually looking at the underlying cause solves the mystery..
but in this classic case, it just doesn't justify.

I'll leave it the almighty one..
He does everything..
so shall it be.

~Peace~

MHI CAMP

a tiring weekend but thoroughly fulfilling. Always been somethin close to my heart , being able to follow through with something after Philippines and alas, it has been fulfilled.

Rec'd a little feedback and somehow in 1 way or other, I'm convinced that there's been a spark ignited.

It's through events like that that constantly remind me about how God can be so real, that when everything is done for Him, Through Him, success is always achieved.

And the road doesn't end here.. Still lots more to follow through.

It's good.

I see the natural progression.
From Laguna to Back Home.
Discussion w Pastor and a new movement.
Camp took off w Fatty's great role.
More focussed structured movement in discussion.
More Qualitative process..

Thumbs up.

I still believe the , 'just do it' with His leadership , His Strength.

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

ill focussed messy me

I need to space out my time better. Ill focussed.
and I can't believe whats going on with the youths ..
How is it all this never really happened when I was younger..

The day's been long.. and i'm so tired of everything.. I hope Ant survives the ordeal..

Camp's comin up on Fri and I'm already drained as at WEd.

Tom's gonna be another long day.

Hope it all ends well..

=( ...

being back in singapore feels good when the holiday wasn't much of a break. too many tours, too much shopping, too little sleep. Didn't get to chill by the poolside, read the book I bought off the street peddler, and get my cuppa coffee and muffins at the cafe below the hotel.

Guess it was an experience.. and now im home..

The last few days haven't been all happy days..

Visited granny on Sunday and her condition deteriorated .. less alert.. and was drifting in and out of sleep mode.. basically looked like she was in a daze , shutting her eyes just 5 seconds after acknowledging my call out to her. =( Trying to visit her more often so I wont feel the difference in her condition yet feels too painful to keep looking at her suffer in this state.. sigh..

had a reality check on Monday and woke up with a jolt with the deafening shouting in my living room. The fly was at his Best again , being a pest, a prick.. all because mum unwrapped 2 dumplings instead of 1. I don't know how my parents can live with all this nonsense.. but I hope and pray I'd never raise up a child to turn against me in this way.
I should have handled it better by talking sense instead of fighting anger with anger and fist.. Now this mess has started, I suppose the malacca trip for mum and dad would be postponed.. sad.. But I'd rather mum not go thru this treatment from the Fly while I'm absent.


So 2 days of the week gone by in a very unpleasant way.

Hope the rest of the week gets better.

its late.. im hungry and lazy to eat.. i'll sleep off the hunger..

blue monday..

history doesnt sound good but its ok.. nothing beats the present not acceptin the past.. it's sad..
time to wake up again..
whats pain without the ache..

Mistreated.

not e best weekend i've had
tired of being peacemaker..
After all that's done ,
efforts remain unappreciated.
efforts futile n disregarded.
rebel always wins.

all that's left

Letting them go,

still doing so..

no feelings of loss

nor a tinge of remorse..

reserved and unfeeling

where is the ceiling..

Perhaps..

storage's full

thats why feels so 'cool'

Only now..

realising that bigger part of me

may no longer be..

I understand ..

why I'm not cool

have been a fool..

had too much to have

for others nothing left..

leaning on the pillar

that may no longer be e supporter..

now i understand

pieces of me..

times like these..

efforts dont please

misunderstood ..

or a swing of mood

a test once again

I attempt in vain..

three in a day..

tis much can i weigh

That needeth much more

unknowingly hurt to the core

What I've given away,

making a full day..

ended with glass like beads

I can't deal with these..

On the player..

thought brave to face yesteryears

still failed to maintain

emotions refrained..

in the hope that welcome is forgotten

farewell to thoughts of forsaken.

still.. memories etched so clear

wish it didn't feel so near..

still feeds on meek me.

Yes I am still weak.

understanding meself..

bf’s bday yesterday.. for some reason she didn’t look like the happiest one around.. perhaps I should check it out soon..

Puss.. is such a puss.. he's such a scaredy cat.. hahaha.. N I hope u eventually find Venezuela the place someday!!
teh su su.. one day.. one day.. there'll be retribution for the brutal selfish people.. =)

Went house viewing again today @ the calrose.. mighty sunny day.. could’ve melted just walking from one unit to the next under the burning rays..
Went for Prata with L and checked out some good jogging area tucked away in this serene place.. tons of questions posed that I simply could not answer.. When have I turned into such a coward.. such an ‘escapist’..
what’s happened to the inquisitive me who could never be pleased with ‘ I don’t know’ as an answer..
It’s tough being this new me.. I can’t understand why I just can’t accept some ......
Went for a very short game of badminton thereafter and now im all sweaty .. supposed to head to fatty’s place in half an hour.
Not too fulfilling the earlier part of this day.. but looking forward.. least I know someone’s mind is clearer now..

best Monday of the year!

Long weekend's over.. didn't manage to get much rest while trying to be company to those around me.. tiring.. but.. still have to say.. I'm happy.
* sat* I was down.. I was dwelling in this regret mode.. couldn't understand why I felt so remorseful or regretful.. I couldn't lift off the burden- the regret of delaying the outing w granny for a meal.. kept thinking about her current state.. and remained in sadness and regret for quite a bit of the night..

*today* knock on the door that woke me up.. bro asked me to give him a ride to see granny.. pulled myself out at noon.. n granny's condition's improved tremendously over the past few days.. =) she was getting a sun tan by the pond at uncle's place.. and I hadn't seen her eyes open up so wide the last few days .. it was a pleasant surprise.. since my car was parked there.. I told her that it was my new car.. and MORE surprise.. she remembered stuff.. asked how much I bought it for and what happened to my old car.. more smiles..

Mum asked if I could drive her to the east for a haircut.. so i did.. n then she wanted to 'la kopi' and so we went.. and then i suggested window shopping for an apartment.. and again we went.. and it was fun.. property prices have gone down .. and now.. it seems so much more affordable.. =) soon soon.. in HIs time..

had quite a bit of good news around me..
-bird told me that his mum and gf are getting baptised .. woopeeee!!
-ahma looks so much better.. hope she gets better each day!
-it's confirmed.. I'm in for the conpany trip to OSAKA!! =)
-I've attempted Pachelbel Canon on the piano.. Soottthhhhiiinn... ;)

my granny..

my ole granny just suffered another series of a stroke..
this time doc said that it'll be downhill from here..
it may last weeks, months or even years..

I rushed to visit her after my sign lang class.. and there.. she lost weight.. eyes rather dazed.. reaction alot slower.. part of her facial expression was different.. because of the stroke..
I called out to her.. and wow! she knew it was me despite her poor vision made worse by the stroke.. immediately streched out my hand to her and she reahed out to hold mine too..

her active brains .. still v much alert .. kept reminding me that she needed to pass down her gems to me.. almost teared in front of her.. but held back .. told her.. another time..

just 3 weeks ago.. I promised to being her out.. then mum was busy, 2nd week granny was suffering from diarrhoea and 3rd week.. i was busy.. and now.. shux.. Im full of regret.. time and tide surely waits for no man..

Got to do things differently..

For now.. I've Gotta pray for her.. her eyes looked v sad.. is she suffering ? I don't know.. but I pray God will take away the suffering and replace that with a sense of peace within her soul..

why wait...

just went for a quick supper with the bird..
On the topic of relationships.. he claimed .. if 2 people are ready .. just go ahead with it..

I guess.. yeah that's the fastest easiest way to it.. but I realised over time.. what's the hurry.. perhaps we've all been living too much in this self centred world, void of principles guided by the 1 Book. We inject our individual opinions into the way we should or should not think..

I begged to differ.. I've learnt.. that u need to understand the boat well before getting on board.. and for that matter.. we need to understand the boat's mechanics to a large extend ..
Instead of boarding.. then realising.. then hoppin off or perhaps.. sometimes.. drown in the open sea..

Complex it is.. but never is that tough.. when it's Him who leads..

End of the day.. when He is left out of the picture.. we just count on our limited strength for the journey..

In the same way that scripture interprets scripture..
we should all attempt to be guided by that one same source..

We are weak but He is strong..

stoops, my friend.... =)

Im thankful for having some very close friends..

spoke to Stoops yesterday and thank you.. I think I obviously neglected the feelings of another person and just based everything on my own self.. my bad..
was supposed to send an email out to 'u know who' but was too sleepy to do it after the flight simultor and organizing my mess..

Well my friend.. I never told you this but .. I'm proud of you.. having gone thru much over the past month or so.. You're still able to stand up strong .. that's certainly something worth praise..
So often we take things for granted.. and when we suddenly have any of such comforts taken away from us.. some just dwindle into a 'life is meaningless' mode.. But you my friend.. I know you know what to do.. and your focus is right.. so stay that way.. and stay positive!

It's the 1st week of May..
and for me.. kids exams are all almost over.. time to get on track with work...
Just got wind that OSAKA trip will be on the 1st Sept..Can't wait!!! that'll be in 4 months..

so plans would be
JUNE- Thailand
JULY-UK
AUG-rest
SEPT -OSAKA

Supa!!

TRIBOB DUATHLON 2008

it's been a looonnnggg day..

dragged myself out of the comforts of my cool bed and room to face the brand new day..

peered out the window.. and memories of school days flashed back.. waking up at such hours.. 6am... but the same ole me.. woke up @ 6, and rolled back into bed again.. and thankfully germs called me again @ 645.. WOOPS.. late..

Finally got down at 7 n off we were on the journey to Mandai for the TRIBOB Duathlon..

Cool place.. reservoir view was lovely.. breeze was morning fresh n tat miss forgetful forgot to change into slippers while we cycled from the car to the start point.. and when we got to start point she realised that she didnt bring the $50 for the chip.. had to cycle back to e cary again...



Soon enough race begin, 1st leg of 3km was great, pacing each other all the way, and then the 15km stretch.. one BIG lesson learnt.. usu its the bad workmen that blames his tools but for me.. my mountain bike was certainly the wrong tool for the race.. the road bikers whizzed past and I was still crawling away..
Oh well.. nonetheless.. that was cleared and the next 3km was painful.. muscles tightened, breathing lots heavier.. and the heat.. yes the mighty heat.. took loads outa me.. dehydrated me so much that I walked most parts and was dying for the water station.. and after I hydrated meself a bit.. it was great that the girl marshalls were so supportive and cheered me on even when I was one of the last to finish the race..

WEll.. today's fulfilling, exhausting, joyous, muscle aching.. and even as im blogging about this I dozed off twice.. better get on my OSIM i pampie to ease the tight muscles and off to recharge!!!

NExt up .. OSIM triathlon!! WOOHOO!!!!

JOY RIDE~

woke up to an extremely humid afternoon..

spent 1 hour just trying to assemble my problematic bike.. and only after sending to bike shop did i realise that the nut just wasnt tight enough..

Glad the clouds made way and i still managed to get onto my 10 year old rustic charm.. whizzed to Thomson to get books for lil joey and then down to yishun.. i say.. it was a joyous ride.. riding along the reservoir.. accompanied by great music on i-shuffle.. and b4 i knew it.. half hour and i reached destination..

Was delighted with the Hot fudge sundae that never tasted so good in the past.. I was hungry!!

and as i cycled back.. i took a shorter route .. met up with fatty for dinner.. =)

its a wonderful day..

troubles away and joy's set to stay.. =)

i shld do this more often..

Yeah.. its great being single sometimes.. =)

race day's tmr! time to SLLEEEPZ!!

sullky sunday.. magnificent Monday!

I went back on sunday night feeling extremely moody.. ppl talked to me.. about the way I did things and it bothered me.. I saw the sisters in conflict and it was partly my fault..

feedback..not that I loathe it.. i suppose I generally care too much about what other people say .. their opinions on me.. and I did some reflection.. while I was driving.. and when I was home.. returning to an empty home .. (family was still out) just got more gloomy..
Was thinking .. have I been doing too much.. or have I been doing too little.. sometimes.. u do what you enjoy doing and u think it's good.. and then ppl tell u.. it isn't as good as u think it is.. people , me , people, me.. where is God then?

I decided to play the piano.. the only piece I can play now.. endless love.. and there.. my emotions were set free.. my nerves were soothed as the music played.. why had I placed so much stress on myself...

Family came home and weird me.. didn't feel like talking to anyone.. so I retired from the piano to shut myself up to the comforts of my room..

and so i spent a little time with God.. and I was reminded of the verse at church today..
Galatians 6:9 And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.

Indeed, I have seen bits of the harvest I never thought I would reap.

I understood myself a little better too.. that it was NOT being tired of doing all that im doing.. I enjoy what I'm doing , it makes me happy while I'm at it.. but when everything's over.. exhaustion eats me up..
I've overworked myself.. and I need to free out some time to pursue my personal activities to strike some balance.. In love I give .. and in the same way.. if I want to give it well I need to restore my soul too..

So that started today, I had 2 hours of netball with Germ and Glen n e rest and it was simply fantastic! Feeling all worked out and the stress that was building up was somehow released..

For now.. I'm feeling sick again with a bad throat, runny nose and watery eyes..
5 more days to the race and I've still got much to cover.. YIKES!!

My dad's words just rang in my head.. Everything must be done in moderation...

OF late I've been occupying myself with..
MHI meetings..
4 tuition kids..
Learning to play the piano..
Duathlon..
Now.. Netball..
hmm..
i think one has to go..

Duathlon

i muz be goin bonkers... just signed up for a duathlon.. for the 4th may... n i havnt been biking for e longest time!!! better start tis week.. now time for me to stop finding so many things to do...

seasons come and go..

Like the cycle in the seasons..
soon as winter leaves
spring begins..
its all in His time.. =)
managed to steal some quality time in the afternoon to be on my own...
and there.. deep inside that little heart..
a spark ignited once again..
a sudden fall can't hurt me much..
a seed was planted for my speedy recovery began.

thanks buddy for that verse..

frail...

lately I've been winning battles ..
but even winners can get wounded in the fight..
people say that im amazing....strong beyond my years..
but they dont see this side of me..
im hiding all the tears..

the warrior is a child..

i'm burned out.. I think this running around is taking a toll on me.. I need to find that balance .. I need to find strength to recover... it's not all about serving others i finally realise.. I need my solitary time with God..

time for some restructuring..
even if the world fails me..
My Lord.. my Rock, my Strength, my Redeemer.. pick me up...

up and down and up and down..

mid week's here and seems like the weekend's always here faster than i even realise..

It's been some weeks of happiness and strugggles..
and as I try to put in more hours of work in the ministry.. I stuggle in my walk with God.. not the way it should be..

frustrating friday!

im so ssssssiiiiiiiiiiiicccccccckkkkkkkk of clearing this work on my desk!!!!! arghhh!!! i want to go back to laguna!!!!!!!!!!!

super sunday!

as i awoke..

i realised that it was a brand new day n the night had passed..
shifted my focus to make good of the day..
just 2 hours ago, joe told me .. that there is life in faith ??!! that's the best thing EVER!!!

Thanks be to God..

Glad I shared that with you and clarity prevails now..

rainbows appeared again..

facade

Lying beneath the surface

remains a different kind of face

Onward thoughts of happiness

weakening in weariness

Positive injection thought best

yet having gone thru a series of test

failure not once but twice and thrice

how do i come close to that prize

for transformation to something better

and still to some it just dont matter..

Fading memories of that journey...

how could it come so early..

....

not self created misery

nor unsolved mystery...

it all comes down to what's inside...

the aching wont subside...

journey..

Just as I was feeling down and out.. this song came along.. and there.. wat a great song to lift my spirits ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7vzR2m660U

Journey

Half the world is sleeping,

half the world's awake

half can hear their hearts beat

half just hear them break

I am but a traveler,

in most every way

Ask me what you want...to know

What a journey it has been

And the end is not in sight

But the stars are out tonight

and they're bound to guide my way

When they're shining on my life

I can see a better day

I won't let the darkness in,

what a journey it has been.

I have been to sorrow

I have been to bliss

Where I'll be tomorrow,I can only guess

Through the darkest desert

Through the deepest snow,

Forward always forward, I go..

What a journey it has been

and the end is not in sight

But the stars are out tonight

and they're bound to guide my way

When they're shining on my life

I can see a better day

I won't let the darkness in,

what a journey it has been...

Forward, always forward...

Onward, always up...

Catching every drop of hope

In my empty cup

What a journey it has been

And the end is not in sight

But the stars are out tonight

and they're bound to guide my way

When they're shining on my lifeI can see a better day

I won't let the darkness in,what a journey it has been...

What a journey it has been...

struggles...

I spent many hours at e fun fair today and the queer weather.. sunny, then heavy downpour and then sunny again.. everything was so expensive.. fund raising.. wats new.. In the end I bought 80 bucks worth of tickets..and half the time i wasnt eating all that much.. just wanted to be the mother hen amongst the kids.. ha..

oh well, i had a nice conversation with u fei zai.. and I still have to say the dark is eating me away slowly but surely.. it's strange how i even feel parts of me fading away .. every day.. just like the song lyrics.. and tho i love u so.. temptation finds its way back to me.. the sturggles we face everyday.. to stand firm on what we believe in.. just when ppl thought i was strong.. they dont know i'm actually all weak inside..and constantly fighting some sought of a battle ...

It's really not easy and I need to draw strength from Him.
and.. it's really much easier being in the company of God fearing and seeking people..

ello weekend..

Weeeeeee!!! weekend's here once again..
It's been almost a week since I've arrived back home from the Philippines.. and still I'm missing it so much. Yesterday was a tiring day!! had the company Awards dinner and because the food was serving so slowly, many turned to drinking on 'not so full' stomachs resulting in drunkies being born every moment. Thank God, with my sore throat it was excuse enough for me to refuse the many attempts to get me drinking w endless supply of wine.

Ended up sleeping at 4 and I had a morn meeting today.. winked for 4 hours only. no wonder i look like ... ; hahahaha.. Im realllllliiiii tired by now..

Oh well, tomorrow's saturday and ACJC's Fun-O-Rama is here!! It's actually been 10 long years since my first one.. YIKES!! feelin old again.. oh well I've never missed a single one since graduation and I look forward to e visit back to school again.. tis time bringing the kids from church and hopefully we wont spend too much time finding lost kids.. heh..

Alrighty... cinderalla's gotta tuck in b4 e clock strikes!

IT's been a fantastic March! May April bring as much joy and satisfaction or perhaps even better~

....

sweet memories..

Take me out of the Dark

One of e songs I discovered during e time in Philippines and its lyrics are amazingly apt 4 me..

http://youtube.com/watch?v=6akprtIarwQ


Just what is it in me?

Sometimes I just don't know
What keeps me in Your love,
Why you never let me go
And though you're in me now,I fall and hurt you still
My Lord, please show me how
To know just how you feel

You have forgiven me
Too many times it seems
I feel I'm not what you might call
A worthy Christian after all
And though I love You so
Temptation finds its way to me

Teach me to trust in You
With all my heart
To lean not on my own understanding
I just forget
You won't give me what I can't bear
Take me out of the dark, my Lord
I don't wanna be there

You've never left my side
You gave Your hand to me to hold
Oh Jesus, I'm no longer in the cold
And yet, I leave You there
When I feel satisfied
I'd like to thank You every day
Not only when I feel that way
I've never known a Man
Who'd give His life for sinners like me
And yet, because He loves us so
He's promised us eternity
And we can have that promise
And be His if we have faith
And just believe

Renewed in Spirit

Alas I have returned. So much has happened the last week. Im raring to tell the world how much I've learnt how much I've seen how much I've experiened. and even though many may not fully understand. Much of what I've gone thru can only be felt and not explained. I've seen situations that can bring me tears of joy and other times tears of being thoroughly ashamed.

Having gone for this missions trip would be one of the greatest things that I've been blessed with in at least the last decade and no matter how many beautiful hols I've been to, Maldives, Australia, Bali, Redang.. the beauty in this trip is somethin only the heart can feel.. no words can describe the beauty of it all.

Even if my memory should fade, I will store this part of me in a place where it can never be stripped away. Even if I'm on a high now, in terms of my renewed faith in God, and things may not be rosy for all time. It doesn't matter, I will continue to bask in this sunshine of goodness from my dear Lord.

Phil in 36 hours..

I continued e day with piles of work to complete. Why do I always end up with this last minute mess to clear .. obviously due to the slacking last week..

Plane’s flying off in a days time.. for Philippines, I’d be a mission tripper in this Laguna deaf school, with games, activities and Bible lessons.. sounds like so much fun IF I were a kid again but now fun doesn't come in quite appropriately. there’s so much to do.. We’ve prepared much over the last few weeks, logistics, lesson plans and the entire 7 day trip details to sought out..
Alas.. our last meeting today which also means everything’s up to Him to guide us thru..
hectic Friday, I’ve got that stack of work to be submitted and I pray that there won’t be any missing fields that’ll cause my cases to be returned. Also, emails and calls to follow up on
Above everything, I’d still need to prepare for devotions for the trip itself and structure my exact lesson to be presented. So much to do so little time..

where's that peace i need ..

Sigh.. alrights, complains get u nowhere so, I shall keep my focus on God, to guide me through these obstacles and for certain, amidst the packed schedule we’d be having, I’d be able to find greater joy n peace in Philippines and I shall give thanks for that.. =)

My friends, Pray for me while I pursue this enriching week some distance away..

-today-

ur contribution to my -today-
1st day to work in 4 days old whitie,
proud to be behind her wheels...

e day lasted till half past nine and exhaustion replaced exuberance..
was a great harvesting day.. yet nothin else could place a smile on the tired face..

until e reunion with the lemon teab .
quenching my thirst.. and lifted e spirits..
simple appearance yet profoundly felt.
what more does it take than a simple sugary delight to brighten the nite.
Anytime I'd exchange for that when another today approaches.. =)

Fulfilling today with lemon teab

Joyous Weekend

Bout of rising temperature mixed with a very challenging captain's ball competition released me from the heat wave .. (2nd place)

but .. once i hit the sack, bug hovered around again..

by sat nite.. a visit to butter .. full blown fever revisited and resided till 4 in e afternoon. 1 round of panadol and virus fled..

well enough to head to the army mkt to get last round of trip requirements.. and brought the kids out to chill at Bussorah Street. =) ( my latest hangout)

Sun nite.. and im back into the pink of health..

Thank God..

shan't risk it, prob head to get poked by e nurse.. my trip's in 5 days time!

meantime, need to get lots more rest.

Check out 0045.. oOpZ.

5 hour handicap

it's strange how we ever lived without any form of communication tool on us. I left my hp in bro's car and was without it for a good 5 hours.. Felt lost and seemed like a part of me was missing!! ha! Was afraid I had missed some impt calls and there.. my voicemail box was Full in just 2 + hours..

What kind of world are we in man..

What's gonna happen when im in Phil. and the network's attrocious in some rural areas..

sweat n toil..

perseverance n persistence

gave in to disappointment..

how did so much tat was toiled for end up in such dismay

a gift t'was thought

a nightmare looked upon..

heartfelt efforts,

interpreted as absurdity..

respect twisted in foul animosity..

where's the limit ..

when pushed to the exit

how is it possible to appreciate

n unbearable to be without

yet destruct n disrespect..

forgiveness once seemed simple,

now left in bizzare definitions..

requires more to fade the memory ..

and pick up the courage to face the turmoil after the storm.

life..

was so exhausted from last few days of work n hopin for a day I could just relax and plan out some stuff.. the day arrived ! I'm so glad.. some appts today were postponed and there finally some sit back time..

while I was tearing the car park coupons.. I realised.. it's already e end of Feb.. wow.. 7 more days to be exact.. since it's a leap year..

153 days to my birthday
309 days to Christmas
9490 days of my life gone by..

wow.. seems like when we count the days.. it seems like everything seems to be comin up faster than when we count the months..

life is really a journey we should treasure.. when we live it a day as it is.. it feels like so little is accomplished .. so much is wasted.. when we set goals to improve relationships.. better ourselves.. engage in more worthwhile activities.. it all becomes more satisfying, more fulfilling..

I was talking to mum today about her forgetting stuff.. told her that she's got to be more focussed .. she gave the excuse.. old already.. sigh.. such negativity.. but that serves as a reminder that age is indeed catching up with my parents.. which reminds me that I've got to plan for the New Zealand or Tasmania trip soon..

Life's not to be taken for granted .. the limited time we have.. sigh.. dont wanna think about it man! can be quite depressing..

when shall I head to Tassie.. which is a good month.. hmmph..

bz bz bee iz meeee

the day whizzed by ! I've been so occupied the whole day, finally free to check my mails and reply. it's been a crazy day n more to come tomorrow..
I've neglected the bzbb too..
I guess this craze is to make up for the last week's virus attack!

I'll only be able to take a breather on Thurs.. it'll come by quickly..

as for alcohol.. I'm glad it's been kept at bay!! WOOHOO!!!

enying's wedding

just without enying.. hahahaha

.. puss, su and me..

road to recovery..

Im so glad the virus has gone..
it was a tiring week..
n the stubborn me.. just recovered.. yet staying up late again..
i did some online banking ... im gonna get out of Stand Chart! they suck! int rates keep dipping from day 1 while the other bank's have been raising..

a lil abt today..
~I ventured a path that wasn't quite ideal again.. darn..
~evening I had e church meet n finally I've figured out how to structure my lesson plan.. I'm covering the part on Love, forgiveness and trust.
~was supposed to head to e range when Su's granny's critical situation news came in..
...............
~no golf.. called PUSS for dinner instead.. I got a treat @ din tai fung!! woohoo!! heh.. thanks puss!! still i've to say.. u better learn to respect me.. i'm a girl while ur not a man.. ur a true blue PUSS!!! u reaLLLIIIIII NEEED to tell me about the Karma thing man!! c'mmon!!! if u do i'll cross e big junction with u again okie??? heh
~ then we met mar for coffee n she's got a new beau.. hahaha.. not much sense of ownership yet though.. hahaha..

i decided to end the nite early and declined offers to head out for drinks.. still trying hard to stay this way..

okie.. exhaustion's kicked in .. need to SLLEEEEPPPP!!!

puss puss puss.. tell mEEE!!!

simplicity...

i wish i could dream many things for one day .

yes , just for one day .

i want to fly so high that i swear i could never fall down .

if i did come down , there will be someone there to catch me .

for just one day , i'd like to know that true love really does exist .

for just one day , i'd like to be all that God wants me to be.

for just one day , i want to be strong enough to climb the highest mountain !

for just one day , i'd like to love completely without any strings attached inside .

just for one day , i could dream many things !what wouldn't i give for a whole dayfor anything i so much desire ?

I stumbled upon a 20 year old's blog.. and there she wrote something so simple yet so much of what i feel sometimes.. life is simple.. but very often we just fill it up with so much complexities that it becomes difficult.. and even when we've found love.. we lose it all over again.. if we could just treasure what we have with no strings attached.. it would be too simple ..

but then again.. simple is good sometimes..

Hk's scandal

was chatting online with WT and he sent me this blog addy about the scandal tats going on in HK.. felt sick and sad for them just lookin at e pics..extremely explicit.. cecilia cheung, gillian chung, bobo chan... they were so silly to have done all that for that perv edison chen!

I think I'd just do my part to keep it hush about the blog add, just gave it to ron.. darn.. ass u better not let another person have the address... and im not gonna leak it to another person..
it's really quite sad.. they should've known .. but now that it's out.. it's too late..