Conversation with dad

And so another few months have passed..

I have not been in the best this year but I am thankful for the Church Camp speaker. I hear that God has used him to speak right into the hearts of many. I am thankful to be one of the many. I've gained new perspective and the dry season of my walk with God has been watered to some extend. A little like a little plant trying to grow through a storm.

I had a brief conversation with dad today. He spoke of mum's hospitalization just last month. That while waiting, her blood pressure dipped. In his words, "luckily I brought mum in, if not.. "

I didn't like the word lucky, it just doesn't go in line with the way God works. God doesn't work by chance, he gives life and takes away as and when he pleases. I replied that there's no luck in this at all coz life and death is all in God's hands, not in luck's hands.

He also mentioned that doctors said its not long, we are probably talking about months.. Prepare for the worst.. Again I replied, why is it the worst, heaven is a beautiful place isn't it.. Isn't it worse seeing mum suffer like this, immobile, not being able to enjoy her food, not being able to do anything..

Perhaps I could be seen as cold, too practical. In truth though, I guess there's a part me that is trying to make him strong and see the bright side of everything..
I realize every day that its not easy for dad. I also keep failing to contribute, to lighten the atmosphere at home..

Every time I am refreshed and think I can be strong, I fall again thinking about the reality of it all..
Since I got back from the conference, mum hasn't been able to talk to me anymore.. We are talking about months..
God hold me up ..Gotta be strong .. Gotta be strong..