manic monday!

guilty that I had to be woken by 4 "alarms" consisting of beings and clocks..
snoozed my way till boss's face appeared in my imagination and the nightmare tossed me right outa my comfortable snoozy hour.
meeting with the bigger boss crapping over some crappy values got me restless .. cldn't believe i sat thru that..
"money buys power, avoid unhappy people, always dress to impress .. yada yada yada.. " I looked around and cldnt believe ppl were taking down NOTES!!! I really hope they were just doodling drawings on their notepad....

bfast with the bro@ work - D was cool coz we were on the same page .. strong opposition over what boss was crappin about..

fast fwded events - green tea for lunch, 3 hours of documentation, 3 hours of meeting ppl, 20 min lor mai kai tea break and a sudden call to listen to a church mate who was down.. and 2 more hours of documentation..

time's always not enough on Mondays..

Day started with a fiery stomach from weekend's chili rampage,
Multiple calls from the meanie who calls me a cleaner, security guard and all the mean things in the world,
n 1st hr of Tues's arrived with me exhausted but crazily awake!

art of decision making

the art of good decision making usually lies in
1. a few strong principles,
2. a good heart
3. Godly counsel.

There's been many situations in life that have left me clueless but rushing's always the last thing to do and that's what I've been learning.. patience.

Along the way - as Ant says - I'm so methodist.
yes the Methodist pastor's msg is usu made up of a 3 pointer sermon and so have most of my lessons been presented.

The 3 questions have saved me from bad decision making in the last few years. Allowing me to look at macro perspectives and looking out of myself - even to the people around me. No matter what they say - knowing that the people we care about support us in our decision still contributes to that peace in my heart with respect to the decisions I have made.

Often we allow ourselves to be affected by the nitty gritty problems that are minute to the long term goals we'd rather seek. Emotions come into play and it messes things up. In work life, relationships. Emotions are a result of feelings of which we sometimes carelessly handle. With markers of sensitivity and objectivity - it all becomes easier to handle our emotions or another person's.

I hope these 3 qns work for the decisions I have to make this 2010.

gripes about work

i've never done this,
never complained about work
nor co..
but this time - frustration's got the better of me...
operation's efficiency sucks and facing the whole lot of ** is eating me up!
this needs to end soon..
I am so MAD!

tired

dont like using this word..
but i have to now..
tired so tired of all this..
patience .. patience..
need to be uplifted...

thots..

who'd know
what twirled within
the tough fight to stand up
after crumbling in defeat
far from a walk in the park
perhaps a living nightmare on some days
and on other days a torn up wound after it's been stitched up..
Lasted for a long time
caused a wreck within
and visibly clear on e exteriors.
Then time went by a little faster and
the path got a little smoother
the whole thing engineered
the character of a much harder being
sometimes heartless..

but more time has passed
a better being was sculptured
and then there were new revelations
after a softer being was moulded..

and though there'd still be issues within
that sometimes remain locked and kept from the world.
there's the better being,
more equipped for the challenges that'd appear in time
and acknowledging that we are all journeying
with the freedom of choice on the road we want to travel on..

if it is to be,it's all up to me...

Mother's day message @church

Bessie Lee shared with us a message that felt real, brought out lotsa emotions within me and made me rethink about e way I usually do things..

As christians, we are called to walk in a way that reflects Godliness and often that seems like the hardest thing to do.

Someone was noticed as polite, being responsible at work, knowing how to honour her parents and how to enjoy life..she was thought of as a Christian because of e factors she beamed out to the people who interact with her.. *subjective*

Are christians being judged a lot more than any other person in the office or on the street..it isnt always easy walking in a way that’s worthy for people to view as an "example" to follow...and more frequently they'd have this "perfect" model of how a christian should or should not be..

She continued sharing that some of us who may have seen loved ones die would clearly remember that these people don't ask for bank statements or a list of assets they'd collected in their lives.. they ask to see people, loved ones who mean a lot to them and sometimes they'd even wait for the family members to arrive before making their departure... and then I thought about granny and how it felt seeing her in that state, wishin I had known her a little better, put in a little more effort to hang out... always thinkin I "could have done a little more"..

so yeah.. how we spend our time's very impt, material pleasures just don’t last and are magnified when we are living life BUT clearly meaningless when we are leaving life..

she also shared that many of us have grievances against our parents for not being fair to us or not providing enough for us and sometimes hold on to these for years ...
but when these loved ones are leaving us, it doesn’t matter anymore.. and all we know is that we want them back..
I may not have experienced many lives passing but just one was enough for me to look at life in a different way.

Bessie shared about letting go and letting God work within us esp as children of God, to be good examples that shine out as salt and light of the world and even when it can be so difficult forgetting hurts engraved by the closest people we just have to do it. Speaking from experience , I think it's always easier to love than hate.. there's too much burden in this hate thing...

It's definitely not easy doing all that but it is so important..

Life's short...

~believe in me

this slow soothing tune came on the radio, i pursued the lyrics and ha... indeed we've all gone thru that road before..

http://lyrics.filestube.com/song/43ac371c200025dc03e9,Believe-in-Me.html

too many hearts have been broken
failing to trust what they feel
But trust isn't something that's spoken
And Love's never wrong when it's real...

home ownsership in singapore..

Met with a client who asked me to purchase a piece of property in the east.
$650k doesnt sound like a big amount in Singapore but then who has it??!

Disected it and came up with the sums
5% cash = $32.5k
15% cash or cpf = $97.5k
3% stamp duty ~ $20k

A whopping $150k!! of which i only have a fraction of..

He said only 5% cash needed.. that's not much..
I replied, pick 5 ppl my age. How many even have 5 - 10 k of savings.. u may only find 1 or 2.

being in a line where I know how much everyone earns, how much they save monthly and how much savings they are sitting on..

When will my generation who are nearing their "mid-life" age ever get to own a property.. no wonder they term it "mid-life crisis" CRISIS INDEED!

as it is many are pushing off marriage plans or living with parents in their tiny hdb unit coz they dont have enough for the downpayment...(except of course those who've got money plants in their back yard)

its quite a frustrating thought..
as for me.. if i remain single (which i say CHOY! to ) i'd prob only be able to afford a mini studio..

there are places i remember

There are places I remember all my life,
Though some have changed
Some forever, not for better
Some have gone and some remain.
All these places have their moments
Of lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I loved them all.

And with all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these mem'ries lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
And I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them.
In my life I loved you more.

And I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them.
In my life I loved you more
In my life I loved you more


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6TvegK-IUE

y i, y?

Leo appearance
built by conditions over years
hardened by inevitables
hidden with facades
conditioned with unchangeable factors
within the strengths
lies the meekest being
fearing change
n peering beyond..too far..
constantly searching 4 e steadfast pillar
or temporal security blanket
setting out to sea
yet desiring the other horizon
comforts and warmth of familiarity
on firm solid ground


the world cares for self
n the too's in I
almost always
desires more..quality, appreciation
strays from simple
and attracts complex.
factors that fuel up the meekest of the lot.
y I, y?

perception perhaps.
complexities usu disqualified
simplicity's naturally the victor.

the too"s to kick..

too sensitive, take things too seriously, too absolute, think too much, heart"s toooo soft, impatient, too personal, care too much....


But.. What if i was made this way?
If i was created as an angel it"d be sooo much easier...

*knock knock* dreaming or what..
.. im still human ....

today

today i learnt sme new stuff..
N one of them"s that..
** cares alot abt me...
I"ve always known that but
Today i realised it on a whole new level..