No one is indispensable,
No plan cannot be changed
No promise can b fully sealed
No forever can defintely be..
effort n commitment- components behind the
Great Big Decision.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
the 5 languages of love
completed half of this book i recently purchased..
the five love languages..
learned some stuff and its true, we all have this language that speaks to us whether its with parents, friends or the other half..
Chapman the writer listed em as follows
- Quality Time
- Words of Affirmation
- Receiving Gifts
- Acts of service
- Physical Touch
I glanced thru at first pondering what mine was.. kinda knew it definitely wasn't recieving gifts..not because i didnt like em but coz it's just not one of the top things that wld make me feel impt..
and then after doing that questionaire.. Voila.. i realised what it was..
and then i got some insights into why my folks were in conflict all the time - they were always using their own likes to handle each others dislikes.. DUH..
no wonder..
i can be the LUURRVE Doctor now!
yea... but oops.. speak too soon..
think i need to experience the *L* all over again FIRST!
the five love languages..
learned some stuff and its true, we all have this language that speaks to us whether its with parents, friends or the other half..
Chapman the writer listed em as follows
- Quality Time
- Words of Affirmation
- Receiving Gifts
- Acts of service
- Physical Touch
I glanced thru at first pondering what mine was.. kinda knew it definitely wasn't recieving gifts..not because i didnt like em but coz it's just not one of the top things that wld make me feel impt..
and then after doing that questionaire.. Voila.. i realised what it was..
and then i got some insights into why my folks were in conflict all the time - they were always using their own likes to handle each others dislikes.. DUH..
no wonder..
i can be the LUURRVE Doctor now!
yea... but oops.. speak too soon..
think i need to experience the *L* all over again FIRST!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
I f s
If I hadn't needed $$ I wouldn’t have worked at Citibk,
wouldn’t have known Ed,
if Ed & I couldn't connect we wld not have been in continuos contact
we we werent in contact he wldnt have known I attended Wesley's svc.
If I didn't attend Wesley's svc, he wldnt have introduced us.
and the rest is up to u and me..
And if I didn't have to work to pay off my uni fees
I wldnt have been in this co.
if Est had not left I wldnt have had to take over ur case.
if we cldn't connect we wld not have been friends.
if we hadn't been friends I wld have never been the one to help in this scenario.
God wld have sent another angel.
but then ...
I think its me..
If I didn't go to Wesley I wouldn't have been baptised,
If I wasn’t baptized,
I wouldn't have been so keen in searching for a ministry to serve in,
If I had been called by Skiiers after leaving my name with them 3 times
I would have been in a different ministry..
If I had been in a different ministry,
I may not have looked out for the tutor position.
and I wld not have been ur tutor
and we may have never met
and if we couldn't connect I would not have been able to share with u the greatness of His kingdom.
Everything happens for a reason and with a reason.
and if God did not make magic in mum and dad, I wldnt even be here..
argghh.. no matter how mad they make me guess I still have to thank God for my parents.
wouldn’t have known Ed,
if Ed & I couldn't connect we wld not have been in continuos contact
we we werent in contact he wldnt have known I attended Wesley's svc.
If I didn't attend Wesley's svc, he wldnt have introduced us.
and the rest is up to u and me..
And if I didn't have to work to pay off my uni fees
I wldnt have been in this co.
if Est had not left I wldnt have had to take over ur case.
if we cldn't connect we wld not have been friends.
if we hadn't been friends I wld have never been the one to help in this scenario.
God wld have sent another angel.
but then ...
I think its me..
If I didn't go to Wesley I wouldn't have been baptised,
If I wasn’t baptized,
I wouldn't have been so keen in searching for a ministry to serve in,
If I had been called by Skiiers after leaving my name with them 3 times
I would have been in a different ministry..
If I had been in a different ministry,
I may not have looked out for the tutor position.
and I wld not have been ur tutor
and we may have never met
and if we couldn't connect I would not have been able to share with u the greatness of His kingdom.
Everything happens for a reason and with a reason.
and if God did not make magic in mum and dad, I wldnt even be here..
argghh.. no matter how mad they make me guess I still have to thank God for my parents.
Consuming Fire
Just worshipped with this song..
Consuming Fire
Fan into flame
a passion for your name
Spirit of God
fall in this place
Lord have ur way
Lord have ur way
with us
Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Congrats my dear!
Consuming Fire
Fan into flame
a passion for your name
Spirit of God
fall in this place
Lord have ur way
Lord have ur way
with us
Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Congrats my dear!
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
the quality of my little cross
past few days was filled with disrupted sleep.
worry seeped thru the doors and found its way to me.
and then i stopped to understnd why..
i was looking at the worst.
200 yrs ago the eruption lasted a year.
I took a step back to cast those thots aside and filled that with hope.
and what He's always empowered me with - FAITH
its easy not feeling a tinge when no one u know is stranded
but when there's someone close stranded n panicking,
it breaks me too..
all this
when im not even family...
Still in Clark,
after reading the news from the net
I had to take a step out of the house for a breather
to pray.
didnt realise I was so focussed in it that i vocalised e prayer
and someone walked past me wondering if I was a looney..
talking to myself..
past few days I found myself praying harder
having greater faith
and of course realising how I wld do all I cld ..
and the best I cld.
these are perhaps once in a lifetime experiences of
-visiting 'mummy'and that complete empowering prayer
-wishing mum cld be this close
-being on hold till home phone batt died and then i dozed off with beep in my ears
-clicking purchase ticket prob 15 times on SQ site
-visiting LH & SQ office in that 2 hours and wondering if a miracle just happened
the Love of Christ
the Spirit's prompting
the ever faithful God..
the Power of the Trinity
the little cross I carry because of the big One He first carried for me.
worry seeped thru the doors and found its way to me.
and then i stopped to understnd why..
i was looking at the worst.
200 yrs ago the eruption lasted a year.
I took a step back to cast those thots aside and filled that with hope.
and what He's always empowered me with - FAITH
its easy not feeling a tinge when no one u know is stranded
but when there's someone close stranded n panicking,
it breaks me too..
all this
when im not even family...
Still in Clark,
after reading the news from the net
I had to take a step out of the house for a breather
to pray.
didnt realise I was so focussed in it that i vocalised e prayer
and someone walked past me wondering if I was a looney..
talking to myself..
past few days I found myself praying harder
having greater faith
and of course realising how I wld do all I cld ..
and the best I cld.
these are perhaps once in a lifetime experiences of
-visiting 'mummy'and that complete empowering prayer
-wishing mum cld be this close
-being on hold till home phone batt died and then i dozed off with beep in my ears
-clicking purchase ticket prob 15 times on SQ site
-visiting LH & SQ office in that 2 hours and wondering if a miracle just happened
the Love of Christ
the Spirit's prompting
the ever faithful God..
the Power of the Trinity
the little cross I carry because of the big One He first carried for me.
Pastor's house
Touched by e Pastor's hospitality, sincerity and generosity..
He got all 3 kids to bunk together. rooming all 5 in one compact room so that us visitors wld be able to sleep comfortably in the kids rooms.
I observed how the 2 deaf parents could bring up their children so well, respectable, closely knit, they would make jokes, sit with us to have casual conversation, call each other names and yet laugh it away.. and they said conflicts dont last longer more than an hour.
Was envious the word? I was touched by the closeness of the 3 siblings, wondering why the brother I have wld never care for me the same way or talk to me with that brotherly affection, offer me advise or have friendly conversation with me.. all i got was bumps and bruises and a scarred impression of brothers.
and then I asked them - your parents must have little conflicts too.. they replied that there were conflicts that usu dont last longer than a day and everyone's rather light hearted about these things.
I obsrved how dad was the disciplinarian who only had to give a look to get things done and mum was the doting one who made sure food was served, supper delights were prepared, all 3 children recieved equal attention and her husband was tended to as well with gentleness and love.
How complete... Guess it's not too late to decide that there was much to learn about parenting from Csar n Aleen.. It all starts from the model that parents display to their children.
I could either mop around sulking on the conflicts with mum, dad and bro every day or every other day or open my eyes to see what should or shldnt be done.
My idea of the almost perfect family.
Cesar.Aileen.Sar.Mar.Pao pao.
He got all 3 kids to bunk together. rooming all 5 in one compact room so that us visitors wld be able to sleep comfortably in the kids rooms.
I observed how the 2 deaf parents could bring up their children so well, respectable, closely knit, they would make jokes, sit with us to have casual conversation, call each other names and yet laugh it away.. and they said conflicts dont last longer more than an hour.
Was envious the word? I was touched by the closeness of the 3 siblings, wondering why the brother I have wld never care for me the same way or talk to me with that brotherly affection, offer me advise or have friendly conversation with me.. all i got was bumps and bruises and a scarred impression of brothers.
and then I asked them - your parents must have little conflicts too.. they replied that there were conflicts that usu dont last longer than a day and everyone's rather light hearted about these things.
I obsrved how dad was the disciplinarian who only had to give a look to get things done and mum was the doting one who made sure food was served, supper delights were prepared, all 3 children recieved equal attention and her husband was tended to as well with gentleness and love.
How complete... Guess it's not too late to decide that there was much to learn about parenting from Csar n Aleen.. It all starts from the model that parents display to their children.
I could either mop around sulking on the conflicts with mum, dad and bro every day or every other day or open my eyes to see what should or shldnt be done.
My idea of the almost perfect family.
Cesar.Aileen.Sar.Mar.Pao pao.
Days 2-4
with the humbled perspectives of things, it all became easier..
I discovered the art of some things I never knew..
- stoning with absolutely no worries of bills, if my car had nuff fuel, when's the next client meeting, when am i gonna drive thru the next ERP etc
- engaging in what i dislike -> a 2 hour afternoon nap just after lunch .. coz I dont like napping away my afternoons and i think its the most pig-like thing to sleep after a full meal..
- I could actually zz soundly with ppl walking in and out of the room when I usu value privacy during sleep - locked door and all..
- I checked no emails, no facebook , touched no internet and only sent out 5 smses in 3 days!
- the only material thing I missed was my bed.. my back was aching mad!
- I realised that perfection wasn't important sometimes, it's whats in the heart that is key..
and the list continues..
** God touches the deaf in amazing ways, I was reminded not to give up even if there were difficulties in ministry because it's the Kingdom of God we seek after
I discovered the art of some things I never knew..
- stoning with absolutely no worries of bills, if my car had nuff fuel, when's the next client meeting, when am i gonna drive thru the next ERP etc
- engaging in what i dislike -> a 2 hour afternoon nap just after lunch .. coz I dont like napping away my afternoons and i think its the most pig-like thing to sleep after a full meal..
- I could actually zz soundly with ppl walking in and out of the room when I usu value privacy during sleep - locked door and all..
- I checked no emails, no facebook , touched no internet and only sent out 5 smses in 3 days!
- the only material thing I missed was my bed.. my back was aching mad!
- I realised that perfection wasn't important sometimes, it's whats in the heart that is key..
and the list continues..
** God touches the deaf in amazing ways, I was reminded not to give up even if there were difficulties in ministry because it's the Kingdom of God we seek after
Foreign-er
A person not naturalized in the country.
Proved true.
Days were spent lazing in the country.
was looking forward to the camp venue - "floral farm resort" perhaps the word resort was a tad decieving as we discovered only upon entering the gates.
Nonetheless it felt very much like a good ulu place to retreat to and emotions almost naturally blended well with the chirping birds, squeeky swings, rustling leaves of fruit trees, gravelled paths.
Being the foreigners of prideful Sin-ka-por "anti socialness" was the next thing to be. While the deaf mingled we sat at e swing to 'stone' the journey's fatigue away.
And of course conscience pricked too soon, realising that it was silly travelling all the way to this place to continue being aloof. Plucked ourselves outta the comfort zone and headed to introduce ourselves to the deaf. We were pleasantly welcomed and I felt instantly comforted with the smiles and gestures asking for an introduction.
Felt rather inferior knowing that I was of the lowest standard amongst the 3 of us in sign language but.. ultimately I did travel all the way for a DEAF camp and so I pushed myself to focus on the colourful filipino style of signing..
And then we were introduced to our room which seemed rather luxurious for the exterior look of the "resort".. pleasantly surprised.. and TADA~~ came the toilet - I'd rather have the rio toilet anytime.. as I lowered my head to rinse my mouth I realised I couldn't keep my eyes open - the stained patches of dirt and that smell!! putting this stuff into my mouth.. cldnt quite deal with it ..but choice wasn't with me and so I hurriedly rinsed my mouth with eyes shut tight to reduce the impact while one of the senses was absent..
That night I was rostered to lead devotion.. In coming to the Lord, I humbled myself knowing I had to take away that pride and refuel with humility. Accepting all that I had.. I was reminded of the verse in
Philippians 4:12
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
Proved true.
Days were spent lazing in the country.
was looking forward to the camp venue - "floral farm resort" perhaps the word resort was a tad decieving as we discovered only upon entering the gates.
Nonetheless it felt very much like a good ulu place to retreat to and emotions almost naturally blended well with the chirping birds, squeeky swings, rustling leaves of fruit trees, gravelled paths.
Being the foreigners of prideful Sin-ka-por "anti socialness" was the next thing to be. While the deaf mingled we sat at e swing to 'stone' the journey's fatigue away.
And of course conscience pricked too soon, realising that it was silly travelling all the way to this place to continue being aloof. Plucked ourselves outta the comfort zone and headed to introduce ourselves to the deaf. We were pleasantly welcomed and I felt instantly comforted with the smiles and gestures asking for an introduction.
Felt rather inferior knowing that I was of the lowest standard amongst the 3 of us in sign language but.. ultimately I did travel all the way for a DEAF camp and so I pushed myself to focus on the colourful filipino style of signing..
And then we were introduced to our room which seemed rather luxurious for the exterior look of the "resort".. pleasantly surprised.. and TADA~~ came the toilet - I'd rather have the rio toilet anytime.. as I lowered my head to rinse my mouth I realised I couldn't keep my eyes open - the stained patches of dirt and that smell!! putting this stuff into my mouth.. cldnt quite deal with it ..but choice wasn't with me and so I hurriedly rinsed my mouth with eyes shut tight to reduce the impact while one of the senses was absent..
That night I was rostered to lead devotion.. In coming to the Lord, I humbled myself knowing I had to take away that pride and refuel with humility. Accepting all that I had.. I was reminded of the verse in
Philippians 4:12
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
giving happy a chance..
that piece of news..
cldnt quite understand y i felt that way
but "mr know it all" gave me some insights that it was natural..
and yes i guess it was..
we did share a huge part of our lives together in the growing up years..
some memories seem fresher than they actually are..
the long train rides home from college
the walks..
the talks..
the parting during that april..
the most memorable part of our teenage years spending bdays together..
the peaks of laughter and the most painful tears..
yes it was e biggest part of my teenage years ..
but truth remains that..
they've all passed.
Paths have divided..
Other kinds of happiness and tears have come and gone
Letters still lie in that box i dont even look at anymore..
pictures put away in that thumbdrive in some box..
History is important but whatever's passed shld be appreciated and allowed to pass..
Equipping ourselves with wisdom & discernment to carry on with life, doing away with matters that drain us or ppl who only know how to hurt us and treasuring those God has gifted us with.
we all deserve a chance for happiness.. he did..
and i do too..
all is well..
cldnt quite understand y i felt that way
but "mr know it all" gave me some insights that it was natural..
and yes i guess it was..
we did share a huge part of our lives together in the growing up years..
some memories seem fresher than they actually are..
the long train rides home from college
the walks..
the talks..
the parting during that april..
the most memorable part of our teenage years spending bdays together..
the peaks of laughter and the most painful tears..
yes it was e biggest part of my teenage years ..
but truth remains that..
they've all passed.
Paths have divided..
Other kinds of happiness and tears have come and gone
Letters still lie in that box i dont even look at anymore..
pictures put away in that thumbdrive in some box..
History is important but whatever's passed shld be appreciated and allowed to pass..
Equipping ourselves with wisdom & discernment to carry on with life, doing away with matters that drain us or ppl who only know how to hurt us and treasuring those God has gifted us with.
we all deserve a chance for happiness.. he did..
and i do too..
all is well..
enriched!
A third of the year has almost passed and there has been some improvement although resolutions have not been very well met. I’ve got to press on to get that accomplished.
The weekend was hectic – it started out with Fri’s treat for my office secretaries who were complaining about life in the office and how they’ve been somewhat “abused” by the messed up operational structure in the co. Couldn’t quite believe they’d dare tell me negative stuff about my own boss but guess they trusted me to some extend.. being the faithful one, I couldn’t quite bring myself to join em in the bitching but shared with em my philosophy - that work’s just a means of living to enjoy what we have in life.. and when we get too personal .. that’s when we lose the differentiation between work and life in general..
deafeats the entire purpose..
e day ended w me tired but fulfilled.
Sat morning ,woke up b4 sunrise to church’s captain’s ball tournamentw the kiddos -finally won the championship medal after 3 long years woohooo~
Headed up to Mt Emily and it was refreshing being amidst close friends – those I could be whoever I wanted to be and I know l wouldn’t be looked at any differently. Had a good chat with amee & emme and I realized much time had passed since our last drinks session .. amy had been flying for some time now, xd’s a proud pilot, emme is e next preggie mum, ming quit his job to be the “chef” .. so much has changed but it was still the same ole frens I could have a good quality heart to heart conversation with..
I like!!
Sun morn interpreting , meetings to discuss about the small group, conference and ministry concerns…
I’ve spent more than 10 hours speaking, listening, advising ppl troubled or with concerns.. it’s a darn tiring weekend but I’ve been enriched!
Still have to say,
I LIKE!!
The weekend was hectic – it started out with Fri’s treat for my office secretaries who were complaining about life in the office and how they’ve been somewhat “abused” by the messed up operational structure in the co. Couldn’t quite believe they’d dare tell me negative stuff about my own boss but guess they trusted me to some extend.. being the faithful one, I couldn’t quite bring myself to join em in the bitching but shared with em my philosophy - that work’s just a means of living to enjoy what we have in life.. and when we get too personal .. that’s when we lose the differentiation between work and life in general..
deafeats the entire purpose..
e day ended w me tired but fulfilled.
Sat morning ,woke up b4 sunrise to church’s captain’s ball tournamentw the kiddos -finally won the championship medal after 3 long years woohooo~
Headed up to Mt Emily and it was refreshing being amidst close friends – those I could be whoever I wanted to be and I know l wouldn’t be looked at any differently. Had a good chat with amee & emme and I realized much time had passed since our last drinks session .. amy had been flying for some time now, xd’s a proud pilot, emme is e next preggie mum, ming quit his job to be the “chef” .. so much has changed but it was still the same ole frens I could have a good quality heart to heart conversation with..
I like!!
Sun morn interpreting , meetings to discuss about the small group, conference and ministry concerns…
I’ve spent more than 10 hours speaking, listening, advising ppl troubled or with concerns.. it’s a darn tiring weekend but I’ve been enriched!
Still have to say,
I LIKE!!
Friday, April 09, 2010
ingredients for a good "-ship"
sincere effort.attention to details.chemistry.flexibility for change.accomodating to misfits/differences.faithful supporter thru stormy days.observation.understanding.interest at heart.patience.perseverance.
And the greatest of these is LOVE.
And the greatest of these is LOVE.
Friday, April 02, 2010
I got a feelin...
that tonight"s gonna be a good nite...
E music keeps playing on my mind ..ironically it was a very eventful not so good nite..
the sub-conscious state mirrored my past incidences and that does create a lot of discomfort after the "happy" moment..
I think a book can be written abt the entire day with just 1 Day"s events..
Anyhow, Glad the right decisions were made to ES and today"s a fine new day...
I woke up exhausted and Thot about friends who"d stick by me if I were in sucha state.. n frens who may not... As well as those i"d be there for n those I wldnt..its quite clear..
Anyhow.. I'm just glad all has ended well..
What a night.....
E music keeps playing on my mind ..ironically it was a very eventful not so good nite..
the sub-conscious state mirrored my past incidences and that does create a lot of discomfort after the "happy" moment..
I think a book can be written abt the entire day with just 1 Day"s events..
Anyhow, Glad the right decisions were made to ES and today"s a fine new day...
I woke up exhausted and Thot about friends who"d stick by me if I were in sucha state.. n frens who may not... As well as those i"d be there for n those I wldnt..its quite clear..
Anyhow.. I'm just glad all has ended well..
What a night.....
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