Friday, July 17, 2009

the journey ...

its the busiest month of the year..
experienced a wide spectrum of emotions the last 2 days..
spoke to her and i felt so much pain knowing that even swallowin water was painful.. I wish I could help in some way but all I could do was listen and say words of comfort and pray for her.. I hope she recovers.. I really hope so..


and as I drove home.. i made a call to L ..
I asked.. sleeping??
No.. I'm in the hospital..
.. are you ok?
Not quite , my mum's dying..
(shux.. i said to myself in my mind)
You mean like now, now??
Yes right at this moment...

I'd probably never forget this conversation..
I felt the pain in his teary voice and I felt so bad that I could do nothing..
tears welled up naturally knowing the situation he was in even when I had never known his mum.

The idea of life and death remains unexplainable.. yes its not for us to explain.. but the thought of it scares me, knowing that one day.. my parents would be taken away from me.. e thought just irks thru my insides and this is simply a fact of life that everyone has to go thru.. no matter the age.. 10, 30, 50... the thought of losing someone you love can break anyone down.

Well.. this is life isn't it.. and life's a journey that we should never take for granted and i'm constantly trying to bridge the gap that was created sometime ago with my beloved parents. For some years, I was aloof, could find no connection with them, knew they were impt but constantly took them for granted.. and I'm glad I've made that choice to embrak on my journey of change. It's not easy but it's necessary..

Life's too short to have any regrets..
no more if only I did this or that from now..
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1 comment:

2.7 said...

Heard this song again during Gym. It has been 10 years since I last heard it !!!!!

Baz Luhrmann Lyrics - Everybody's Free

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering
experience…I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you
imagine. Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing everyday that scares you Sing Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with
people who are reckless with yours. Floss Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes
you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
yourself. Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements. Stretch Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone. Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe
you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t
congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your
choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body,
use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever
own.. Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for
good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live
in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
might run out. Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will
look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth. But trust me on the sunscreen…

9:48 PM

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