im a chicken

confessions
now u know..
im a coward..
i try to look undisturbed n strong
but really ..
im a total chicken
n my phobias go far n wide
from life's issues to..
e horrid sight of ya sis description of the fangs of the thing she saw.
i hope i dont get a nightmare 2nite.
ha~
n i remind u of???

to ease the unspoken mind

sometimes we dont understand fully,
there will undoubtedly be ppl who dont try to put themselves in such situations,
there will be others who do but still lag behind coz it's difficult to fully grasp n understand
and yet some will constantly wonder what it'd be like and offer their best ..

do u know where I stand..
amidst the crowd who like to remain in their comfort
or amongst the few who'd stand up to the challenge..

the path less climbed would always bring greater setbacks
sometimes pain, suffering..
struggles that appear and leave em wondering y that very path was chosen

So, what's in it at the end of this path?
Disappointment? Weariness and failure?
Any of these absent would prove this climb unreal.
Trials like these are bound to be present.
But the end point gives direction and focus,
falls are unavoidable but serve their purpose..
to strengthen the weak,
for greater courage to persevere.

That would be my reason to pursue
what many would decline.
My purpose goes far beyond my comfort for selfish gains
but for Love for another
and that builts me up to stride n continue my journey
fearless of the trials that lay ahead.

that's it!

Emme & me; bird & me ; silly Johan Mr-flaming; cannot stop talking drunkies ;

more pics...

most no i managed to get all into one pic ; bday girl and bday boy

more pics

m ming & me ; colin & co & mar ; killer flamin' ; dudes~

party pics!

pic 1: looks very much like our prom pic taken in 1999
pic 2: joined celebration william
pic 3: brudders alvin and markie

superb party!!!

I've survived! The entire weekend was packed with loads of activities and.. it's monday morning now..
I'm so glad that this party was arranged together with classmates from CA5 . ... how time flies and how we've all gone on our separate paths but still have remembrance of each other..it's been 8 long years since graduating from AC and wow! did any of u realise that??

When I look at everyone , I can't help but think back on the days where we led much simpler lives.. hanging out together.. going to arcades, walking aimlessly, studying together, sleeping during free lessons, rushing to the stingray shop during recess, exercising as a class during free periods... it's a nostalgic feelin reminiscin on the past..

Now this time has gone by and the memories we hold so dearly..
Thanks for comin down boys and girls..

and to all those who honoured my invite..
Your presence ~ greatly appreciated...

pics next up

Just let me say~

submission is the best policy..


Just let me say how much I love You
Let me speak of Your mercy and grace
Just let me live in a shadow of Your beauty
Let me see You face to face
And the earth will shake as Your Word goes forth
And the heavens will tremble and fall
But let me say how much I love You
Oh my Savior, my Lord and Friend
Just let me hear Your finest whispers
As You gently call my name
And let me see Your power and Your glory
Let me feel Your spirit's flame
Let me find You in the desert
Till this sand is holy ground
And I am found completely surrenderedTo You my Lord and Friend
So let me say how much I love You
With all my heart I long for You
For I am caught in this passion of knowing
This endless love I've found in You
And the depth of grace,the forgiveness found
To be called a child of God

Sovereign God

Glad I spoke to Daniel abt my greatest phobia.. he told me to continue searching for my answer but he also highlighted and emphasized something I already knew.

It’s strange how God sends His answers .. I asked and the answer was right b4 me.
But I was too blind to see and still God is kind..
He sends someone to re-emphasise the exact thing I held on to.. not only that
.. this answer was further backed with scripture.

My God is sovereign and I should realize that He has given me mercy.

Now.. I have greater conviction that I’ve been holding on far too much to the material things of this world- Earthly treasures that are only impt now and are temporary. So why oh why do I cling on to these things..
There’s so much more trust I’ve to built up in my God.. trust Him to lead my path, make it right and made perfect in His sight.

ready to go..

all my bags are packed
im ready to go
i'm standing here
outside ur door
i hate to wake u up
to say good bye....

just thot of this song while i was packing up for the weekend escape..
1st to co retreat tmr.. and then for my party the next day!
its gonna be a rough week!! hope i survive!!!!

zzzzzz.....

I'm tired..
have literally burned out my weekend sleeping at 3 am and waking at abt 7/ 8 am

gosh.. tmr's monday n i'd better get a gd week.. another hectic week of wk!

so many 1st times today eh?? hahaha

i so agreee..

glad ya still =) ..

lifenomorephobia

yeah.. strange as e title may sound or look.. I've been having weird thoughts about life recently. Sucks to know that Life's so short and all we can do is THIS much.

I confessed during my Bible Study that there have been friends or colleague's parents who have suddenly passed on.. and it struck me as shocking news.. Worst of all.. the thought of cancer is announced and e lifetime is left in the hands of the deadly cell..

Imagine , thinking ur fine... and e next moment, Doc says you have 5 more months to live. ..
What would go thru your mind???? I can't imagine.. I'd be in misery.. how can i chose to let go of all the relationships I've so carefully laid my foundations for..

Y oh y do we have to be stricken with such illnesses and be taken away just like that. the Lifenomorephobia comes in coz somehow.. I'm full of fear of losing a loved one, a close friend and I certainly don't like to know that I'm clueless about my recent bout of weight loss. I'm even in fear of suddenly losing all I have on this world, my family, my relationships, my material collections.... if my life is taken away from me.

This fear is unfounded and I'm glad my Bible study mates said a prayer for me, for God to take away such irrational fears and I'd better seek Him to find strength and trust in Him.

Our lives are but a gift,
it is not ours to keep for eternity.
I have to trust God to lead my path..

too sensitive too much

ha! now now.. in case some people always get suspicious that I'm referring to them when i talk about certain stuff in here.. it's time to chill!

me blog in me space and i dont think i need to put in a disclaimer just so that u wont think this is against u.
I freely speak here.. about life .. about anything.. about nothing.. about me , not about me..

please refrain from taking all this personally.

and as for the recent thoughts..
that'll be on e next blog..

Love in any Language

dedicated to little joey...
ole time classics.. I've once again mastered signing the chorus!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nmi1KYC5Htw

Je t'aimeTe amo
Ya ti-bya lyu blyu
Ani o hev ot cha
I love you

The sounds are all as different
As the lands from which they came
And though the words are all unique
Our hearts are still the same
Love in any language
Straight from the heart
Pulls us all togetherNever apart
And once we learn to speak it
All the world will hear
Love in any language
Fluently spoken here

We teach the young our differences
Yet look how we're the same
We love to laugh, to dream our dreams
We know the sting of pain
From Leningrad to Lexington
The farmer loves his land
And daddies all get misty-eyed
To give their daughter's hand
Oh maybe when we realize
How much there is to share
We'll find too much in common
To pretend it isn't there

frustration

y does frustration fill..
everything should be done in moderation
so as to reduce unncessary anger spills..
i shldnt.. arghh..

ideals vs feelings

was having a conversation about the 2
idealistic people tend to have a picture of their ideals
and when they get too caught up about ideals
they forget about feelings.
In truth, one has a theoretical aspect
the other has a feely aspect
doesn't go together
just like how we evolved from apes - Scientific based on theory
and how God 1st created us as humans - non Scientific
when we get too stringent with our ideals we forget that we are in a human world.
where we become organisms when we are void of feelings..
something we all need to keep our checks on..

empty is?

it is walking through an empty path
found an interest .. empty no more
empty path is filled with colour and just filled
one day without interest, bizzare..
2 days without.. bizzare still
longer.. not so bad
much longer.. starting to get use to empty again
much much much longer.. empty is normal
soon.. it is empty
empty is it..

the irony of life..

work work work

today..
up since 7am now.. 130am.. still finishing up my work..
shouldnt have slacked so much last week.. now i have a mountainous pile to complete.
What's my function.. strangely confused of late.. taking up roles I never cld find time and strength for..
It's alright .. I'm still happy.. least for now..
I like to know I'm different..

so not over you

So Not Over You lyrics -Simply Red.

Don't know why I still slept on my side of the bed
The emptiness when you were gone kept ringing in my head
Told myself I really had to move along now
Stop regretting all the things I left unsaid, yeah yeah

So I tore up your letters
Took your picture off my wall
I deleted your number, it was too hard not to call
Felt a little better, told myself I'd be fine
Got to live for the good times up ahead, yeah yeah

[chorus]
'Cos everywhere I go
There's a love song that reminds me of you
And even though I knew I had to be strong
I was still not over you
'Cos I still believe and I could see how there's nothing left of you and me
That time is over
'Cos I'm so not over you

All my friends try to tell me better find somebody new
Why waste time being lonely when there's nothing left to lose'
[ So Not Over You lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]
Anything to get you out of my mind
I'm a fool if I thought I could forget
And I could not forget

[chorus]

Now I found a way to keep you there beside me
To where my love won't be denied
I can only hope to keep you there and guide me
There's no more need to hide from all this pain inside
Chorus

So not over you
That time is over
'Cos I'm so not over you Not



So Not Over You lyrics

Beyonce's Superb !

DiVA man!

A song that's stuck in my head! maybe it's glenda's fault.. ha!

Listen to the song here in my heart
a melody I start but can't complete
Listen to the sound from deep within
Its only beginning to find release
Ohh the time has come for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside
and turnedInto your own,
all 'cause you won't listen

ListenI am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home in my own home
And I've tried and tried
To say whats on my mind
You should have known
Now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than whatYou've made of me
I followed the voice, you gave to me
But now I've gotta find my own
You should have listened
There was someone here insideS
omeone I thought had died
So long ago
Oh I'm screaming out
And my dreams will be heard
They will not be pushed Aside or turned
Into your own
All 'cause you won't listen



Listen lyrics

week of virus

for obvious reasons..
I'm down again with a string of viruses.. ranging from sore throat to flu to some feverish feel..

ARgh!

This week has been one heck of a lazy week feeling like that..

and still I faithfully honoured the request to go to mhi today..

oh well.. why oh why..

anyhow.. hope the weekend doesn't burn me out so much.. I just wanna lazzze.

Hope all's good with the bird who claims lack of attention..

I'm gonna be there tmr!

Alrighty..
time to check out!

0210 yikes!

Justice, Mercy and Peace

Just glimpsed through my church bulletin and an excerpt caught me there!



Justice - gives us what we deserve for doing wrong

Mercy is when we hold back what people deserve and give them what they do not deserve

A peace maker is one who releases the power of peace and changes the world.. it's in the presence of everything right..



Such simple definitions.. but brings indepth thoughts to my not so merciful heart.

deeply inspiring

THE POWER OF THE DREAM

Deep within each heart
There lies a magic spark
That lights the fire of our imagination
And since the dawn of man
The strength of just "I can!"
Has brought together people of all nations
There’s nothing ordinary In the living of each day
There’s a special part
Every one of us will play

Feel the flame forever burn
Teaching lessons we must learn
To bring us closer to the power of the dream
As the world gives us its best
To stand apart from all the rest
It is the power of the dream that brings us here

Your mind will take you far
The rest is just pure heart
You’ll find your fate is all your own creation
Every boy and girlAs they come into this world
They bring the gift of hope and inspiration

Feel the flame forever burn
Teaching lessons we must learn
To bring us closer to the power of the dream
The world unites in hope and peace
We pray that it will always be
It is the power of the dream that brings us here

There’s so much strength in all of us
Every woman child and man
It’s the moment that you think you can
You’ll discover that you can

The power of the dream
The faith in things unseen
The courage to embrace your fear
No matter where you are
To reach for your own star
To realize the power of the dream

tribute to nana

hope u dont mind me putting this up here.. but what u said today seemed all so familiar to me..

relationships that suddenly seem weird and imbalanced have to end.. why do ppl have to put in repeated efforts only to be cast aside and treated like rots after everything..

I'm glad to see that msg from na today coz I dont believe anyone should be treated 2nd grade!
and for that we shall celebrate! =)

my little tution kid

a whole new experience. interesting to teach and converse with, engaging, very different from all e rest. ha!