blessings~

Glanced at the pics for my bday and realised how some of my closest friends have stayed around this long..

For a long time it felt good being in big cliques.. like how it was in school .. hanging around the 20+ 'troublemaker' group felt cool.. watching movies with 3 rows of the cinema filled with us felt awesome!

even in college- being in the cool athletics or (not so cool)academically challenged class ..didnt leave me feeling inferior.. studies was never a priority to me, company w e classmates or the bf then was key..

but then we live , we learn and then we realise that some friends are good to keep and others.. even if they weren't that close didnt really matter.. so I allowed myself to drift from groups that weren't too edifying or reduced hangouts with those whom I used to hang out for the plain sake of it..

Perhaps treasuring life and the important people makes one more purposeful..
seeing lives come and go makes it more crucial to make the most and best of time spent
more quality focussed and large groupie hangouts was of less or no importance..

and when I look back special days.. they always seem more complete with certain people..
looking at some of these pics.. there was a sense of warmth seeing them around..
even tho it was a relatively big group,
within it lies some very very true friends..
some I would make huge sacrifices for.. =)

truly blessed.

Am I happy?

Happiness is usually a state of mind and as much as factors around contribute to the level of happiness, it is also important to be

-contented
-to provide joy/pleasure to another person
-to be positive

I do slip into a state of unhappiness easily

But

when I sniff signs of it, a look back at the 3 factors and a decision to focus on the better things in life..

Right now,

I find contentment in the little that I have or the excess.
I am continuing my journey of "pleasing people"
& I am still positive

So I think I've figured out my own answer..

I am happy..

as I journey and know all is well with you, you, and p+m

...

even today's fatigue is worth it.. =)

finally~

7am walk at botanical gardens
fellowship
scrpture reading
prayer

Morning feels fulfilled

So glad the sleep was 2nd place

cords of encouragement

This, I truly believe..

and thats why I am the way i am.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
> "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

speeding kills..

we want to get to the destination quickly
hence we approach the flight of steps hurriedly
sometimes we think its JUST a flight of steps
and later realise that it may be gazillion steps more only after exhaustion hits
struggles begin
and giving up seems like an option
and then appears an exit door
simple way out..
perhaps thats what I've grown accustomed to do in the last 5 years..

Hope things are different now,
no more rush
or huff and puff
no more exit doors,
no more falls
and even if the strain hits every now and then
a rest for a second
and the journey continues
no other avenues

a willing heart
n its done.

time for P+M.

dad jz came back home..
asked abt mum,
he does care alot more than I thought..
spoke abt her.
thankful he pointed out the purpose of e washing machine..
now im reminded tat age is catching up w em..
=....(
not a nice thought at all..
and then i instantly felt a sense of guilt
that I've been too swarmed with work n others lately
a reminder to re-balance again..
more time to spend with mum..
really dont know what i'll do without her..
im scared.. so scared..
yet i can do nothing but attempt to shirk off lousy thoughts
and put in more effort so that I'll never have to look back in regret.

best of vic & taz

as with all holidays,
the best of it lies not in the new material posessions,
nor the best hotels stayed
but the quaint unique ones,
the view from the window
the people who offered a smile to warm the day
or those who were genuinely interested in helping out.

the charm of victoria and taz was calming
and even as I look now at the trees swaying
teleported memories of the woods along those long drives up colac fill my mind
the warmth of that coldness still provides a calming peace and tranquility,
the hills and valleys my eyes awed about translated to an infinite sense of freedom and heart filled joy.
anticipation of whats new with every turn out of a winding road or every drive up a hill was child like,
and when the view of the great ocean revealed ....
"the moment" never failed to make me feel so small and yet so contented that I could live to experience the beauty of God's creation.

And of course, the company.. the last visit with 'aunties' and this with the warmth of a rather like minded friend made an ENTIRE WORLD of difference. It never fails to intrigue me that we can be so different and yet the similiarity sometimes spooks..

glad that when I thot i had all the best friends I cld ever have God decided to pop another one to give co that can bring new joys and closeness like real sisters..

glad to have experienced auz in a whole new dimension and when I look back, memories that replay would be all of beauty, good music, and of course great company.