all that's left

Letting them go,

still doing so..

no feelings of loss

nor a tinge of remorse..

reserved and unfeeling

where is the ceiling..

Perhaps..

storage's full

thats why feels so 'cool'

Only now..

realising that bigger part of me

may no longer be..

I understand ..

why I'm not cool

have been a fool..

had too much to have

for others nothing left..

leaning on the pillar

that may no longer be e supporter..

now i understand

pieces of me..

times like these..

efforts dont please

misunderstood ..

or a swing of mood

a test once again

I attempt in vain..

three in a day..

tis much can i weigh

That needeth much more

unknowingly hurt to the core

What I've given away,

making a full day..

ended with glass like beads

I can't deal with these..

On the player..

thought brave to face yesteryears

still failed to maintain

emotions refrained..

in the hope that welcome is forgotten

farewell to thoughts of forsaken.

still.. memories etched so clear

wish it didn't feel so near..

still feeds on meek me.

Yes I am still weak.

understanding meself..

bf’s bday yesterday.. for some reason she didn’t look like the happiest one around.. perhaps I should check it out soon..

Puss.. is such a puss.. he's such a scaredy cat.. hahaha.. N I hope u eventually find Venezuela the place someday!!
teh su su.. one day.. one day.. there'll be retribution for the brutal selfish people.. =)

Went house viewing again today @ the calrose.. mighty sunny day.. could’ve melted just walking from one unit to the next under the burning rays..
Went for Prata with L and checked out some good jogging area tucked away in this serene place.. tons of questions posed that I simply could not answer.. When have I turned into such a coward.. such an ‘escapist’..
what’s happened to the inquisitive me who could never be pleased with ‘ I don’t know’ as an answer..
It’s tough being this new me.. I can’t understand why I just can’t accept some ......
Went for a very short game of badminton thereafter and now im all sweaty .. supposed to head to fatty’s place in half an hour.
Not too fulfilling the earlier part of this day.. but looking forward.. least I know someone’s mind is clearer now..

best Monday of the year!

Long weekend's over.. didn't manage to get much rest while trying to be company to those around me.. tiring.. but.. still have to say.. I'm happy.
* sat* I was down.. I was dwelling in this regret mode.. couldn't understand why I felt so remorseful or regretful.. I couldn't lift off the burden- the regret of delaying the outing w granny for a meal.. kept thinking about her current state.. and remained in sadness and regret for quite a bit of the night..

*today* knock on the door that woke me up.. bro asked me to give him a ride to see granny.. pulled myself out at noon.. n granny's condition's improved tremendously over the past few days.. =) she was getting a sun tan by the pond at uncle's place.. and I hadn't seen her eyes open up so wide the last few days .. it was a pleasant surprise.. since my car was parked there.. I told her that it was my new car.. and MORE surprise.. she remembered stuff.. asked how much I bought it for and what happened to my old car.. more smiles..

Mum asked if I could drive her to the east for a haircut.. so i did.. n then she wanted to 'la kopi' and so we went.. and then i suggested window shopping for an apartment.. and again we went.. and it was fun.. property prices have gone down .. and now.. it seems so much more affordable.. =) soon soon.. in HIs time..

had quite a bit of good news around me..
-bird told me that his mum and gf are getting baptised .. woopeeee!!
-ahma looks so much better.. hope she gets better each day!
-it's confirmed.. I'm in for the conpany trip to OSAKA!! =)
-I've attempted Pachelbel Canon on the piano.. Soottthhhhiiinn... ;)

my granny..

my ole granny just suffered another series of a stroke..
this time doc said that it'll be downhill from here..
it may last weeks, months or even years..

I rushed to visit her after my sign lang class.. and there.. she lost weight.. eyes rather dazed.. reaction alot slower.. part of her facial expression was different.. because of the stroke..
I called out to her.. and wow! she knew it was me despite her poor vision made worse by the stroke.. immediately streched out my hand to her and she reahed out to hold mine too..

her active brains .. still v much alert .. kept reminding me that she needed to pass down her gems to me.. almost teared in front of her.. but held back .. told her.. another time..

just 3 weeks ago.. I promised to being her out.. then mum was busy, 2nd week granny was suffering from diarrhoea and 3rd week.. i was busy.. and now.. shux.. Im full of regret.. time and tide surely waits for no man..

Got to do things differently..

For now.. I've Gotta pray for her.. her eyes looked v sad.. is she suffering ? I don't know.. but I pray God will take away the suffering and replace that with a sense of peace within her soul..

why wait...

just went for a quick supper with the bird..
On the topic of relationships.. he claimed .. if 2 people are ready .. just go ahead with it..

I guess.. yeah that's the fastest easiest way to it.. but I realised over time.. what's the hurry.. perhaps we've all been living too much in this self centred world, void of principles guided by the 1 Book. We inject our individual opinions into the way we should or should not think..

I begged to differ.. I've learnt.. that u need to understand the boat well before getting on board.. and for that matter.. we need to understand the boat's mechanics to a large extend ..
Instead of boarding.. then realising.. then hoppin off or perhaps.. sometimes.. drown in the open sea..

Complex it is.. but never is that tough.. when it's Him who leads..

End of the day.. when He is left out of the picture.. we just count on our limited strength for the journey..

In the same way that scripture interprets scripture..
we should all attempt to be guided by that one same source..

We are weak but He is strong..

stoops, my friend.... =)

Im thankful for having some very close friends..

spoke to Stoops yesterday and thank you.. I think I obviously neglected the feelings of another person and just based everything on my own self.. my bad..
was supposed to send an email out to 'u know who' but was too sleepy to do it after the flight simultor and organizing my mess..

Well my friend.. I never told you this but .. I'm proud of you.. having gone thru much over the past month or so.. You're still able to stand up strong .. that's certainly something worth praise..
So often we take things for granted.. and when we suddenly have any of such comforts taken away from us.. some just dwindle into a 'life is meaningless' mode.. But you my friend.. I know you know what to do.. and your focus is right.. so stay that way.. and stay positive!

It's the 1st week of May..
and for me.. kids exams are all almost over.. time to get on track with work...
Just got wind that OSAKA trip will be on the 1st Sept..Can't wait!!! that'll be in 4 months..

so plans would be
JUNE- Thailand
JULY-UK
AUG-rest
SEPT -OSAKA

Supa!!

TRIBOB DUATHLON 2008

it's been a looonnnggg day..

dragged myself out of the comforts of my cool bed and room to face the brand new day..

peered out the window.. and memories of school days flashed back.. waking up at such hours.. 6am... but the same ole me.. woke up @ 6, and rolled back into bed again.. and thankfully germs called me again @ 645.. WOOPS.. late..

Finally got down at 7 n off we were on the journey to Mandai for the TRIBOB Duathlon..

Cool place.. reservoir view was lovely.. breeze was morning fresh n tat miss forgetful forgot to change into slippers while we cycled from the car to the start point.. and when we got to start point she realised that she didnt bring the $50 for the chip.. had to cycle back to e cary again...



Soon enough race begin, 1st leg of 3km was great, pacing each other all the way, and then the 15km stretch.. one BIG lesson learnt.. usu its the bad workmen that blames his tools but for me.. my mountain bike was certainly the wrong tool for the race.. the road bikers whizzed past and I was still crawling away..
Oh well.. nonetheless.. that was cleared and the next 3km was painful.. muscles tightened, breathing lots heavier.. and the heat.. yes the mighty heat.. took loads outa me.. dehydrated me so much that I walked most parts and was dying for the water station.. and after I hydrated meself a bit.. it was great that the girl marshalls were so supportive and cheered me on even when I was one of the last to finish the race..

WEll.. today's fulfilling, exhausting, joyous, muscle aching.. and even as im blogging about this I dozed off twice.. better get on my OSIM i pampie to ease the tight muscles and off to recharge!!!

NExt up .. OSIM triathlon!! WOOHOO!!!!

JOY RIDE~

woke up to an extremely humid afternoon..

spent 1 hour just trying to assemble my problematic bike.. and only after sending to bike shop did i realise that the nut just wasnt tight enough..

Glad the clouds made way and i still managed to get onto my 10 year old rustic charm.. whizzed to Thomson to get books for lil joey and then down to yishun.. i say.. it was a joyous ride.. riding along the reservoir.. accompanied by great music on i-shuffle.. and b4 i knew it.. half hour and i reached destination..

Was delighted with the Hot fudge sundae that never tasted so good in the past.. I was hungry!!

and as i cycled back.. i took a shorter route .. met up with fatty for dinner.. =)

its a wonderful day..

troubles away and joy's set to stay.. =)

i shld do this more often..

Yeah.. its great being single sometimes.. =)

race day's tmr! time to SLLEEEPZ!!